Buddhist Theory: How helpful! 1.

Sometimes I contemplate how different I was just two or three years ago, and how it has been a combination of two factors that have brought about the new and much improved me that I am today - Buddhism and Yoga.

I was reading something that I had written just 3 years ago - and was amazed at what an angry, passion-filled, hateful, screaming, demanding, impatient, grumpy human being I used to be. I hardly recognized myself, in fact. Yes, I still recognized love and nature as right in a wrong world - but I had no clue as to how to live within them rather than demand they were given to me as my right!

When I look about me, I wonder if people even realize that they could make wonderful changes and feel so much better within - and if they do, why they have not bothered to. I spent many years trying to fix the outside of my life because I saw it as unjust, polluted by man, unfair, and wrong. It took a heavy dose of Buddhism to help me accept that I should fix my own reasoning rather than hurl out abuse at every wrong that hit me just because I KNEW it was unfair.

I spent a long time analyzing matters to ensure that THEY were unfair rather than my expectations, and when finding them to be unjust, criticized them for being at fault. It was not until I read, learned, and practiced Buddhism that I began to fix myself - major help arrived when accepting and understanding karma.

I had always looked upon wrongness as being unfair because I tried so hard to perfect my own life. It was not until accepting that previously done actions on my part had brought these matters into my life that I stopped blaming the world, society, and others for my problems with them.