His Holiness says…

'basically we are all same human being who want happiness and do not want suffering.'

I agree with this statement, but it becomes a problem when acting upon it. When I work on my own personal situation, I can progress at a fairly steady pace and accomplish some ground. However, when I look at the situation in its completeness, recognize the role of others and then try to act - I fail.

I have learned how to traverse the karmic onslaught and remain calm and unattached as events flow me forward on my own path. I can stay level-headed whether things go good or bad for 'me'. Where the difficulties arise for me, are when I am dealing with relations involving other beings.

I have yet to learn a way in which to accept THEIR karmic influences holding them back from THEIR happiness. I remain determined and active in attempting to assist them with both understanding and dealing with arising problems - but I cannot help myself from getting frustrated and uptight when I can see them try to seek happiness but fail, whether I am helping or just observing.

I suppose I shall have to relearn everything from scratch - and this time learn it for dealing with other people's situations, rather than my own!

The Jataka Tales

I have recently completed reading the download version of the well-known book.

I found the coverage of the Buddha's life story interesting, although I had read many accounts of his 'main' life previously.

I found the brief references to the Buddha's former lives during the lives of other Buddhas informative, also.

What I would have liked to have read is the COMPLETE assemblage of ALL tales, however. Many of the stories referred to as 'Jataka' are obviously hidden in some other book, as this one ends with 'and now we will tell the stories of all his births...' but no further stories are present.

For those interested, the book is a free download sited at buddhistbirth00daviuoft.pdf

The Time Factor

Over the Australian winter months, I have had enough free time to focus on my Buddhist studies and practice. As spring appears, I am finding more of my time occupied by work and red-tape rigmarole. This has a draining effect on me.

I long for the next period of vacant time, in which to focus on my studies once more. I miss the day-long concentration that results in progress and deep learning. With only a few moments to read a chapter or take a class, very little sinks in.

This reminds me how little time the majority of people have for practice. I have chosen to live a slow-paced simplistic life, yet even I find periods of rush and strain that steal me from my preferred studies. Previously, I was able to devote the majority of my day to Buddhism - spending most of each day in reading, memorizing, prayer, practice, meditation, and classes. Now, I am squashing other matters together to cram in enough time to read a single chapter and my mind is too unsettled to get deep enough to meditate properly.

Falling down again

Despite having taken great strides in the area of self improvement across the past 3-4 years, I seem to always find myself back where I began. If I climb up a mountain 10 meters, I seem to slip back to having made only 1-2 meters covered ground. Sometimes, things are not as they appear though…

Recently, I was applying Buddhist practices to try to prevent a major slip back, knowing I was going through some difficult times and I would be likely to fall backward. However, for the first time ever, I had difficulty in concentrating. I have not had a problem with meditative focus since beginning practice, due to already deeply concentrating for my writing, etc. I hastily ran to the notes in the ACI course on meditation to review, not having needed the instructions for dealing with 'agitated restless minds' previously.

Even this did not work, so I began to realize that it might not be my own problem. I must have been picking up someone else's worries, concerns, and panic. It was not mine, but my empathic connections.

From this, I was able to scan everyone I knew and detect the origin, in order to offer THEM relief - which in turn would relieve me! Usually, it is the pigeons I pick up on, but this time it was a human source, so easier to remedy.

Another circle begins 2

With all the rigmarole of the government necessities involved with taking a trip abroad to care for an elderly relative for an unknown time, I have become slightly drained. I was spending the majority of my time simply living life, without the need for constant paperwork and officialness. It seems to have knocked me into a re-start.

Every so often, my life begins to begin again, losing ground and returning back a few steps. Knowing the steps I have already taken to be right, I can only take them once more and hope to cover new ground before the next slip-back.

I am trying to keep my focus upon my Buddhist practice and studies, and 'do the red-tape stuff' on the side. But it is harder to focus and concentrate without my mind wandering off into family concerns at the current time - leading to extra difficulty with meditation practice. Tunnel-vision focusing was a strongpoint until recently. Now I have to relearn it.

As life throws me all over the place, laughing, I hold firm to the belief that past karma has made the confusion inevitable and that my Buddhist practice will get me through, somehow. I cannot expect life to be easy forever, just because I have a strong intention to study and progress. I must keep reminding myself that troubles come to me because of my own past errors and not because the government itself is trying to make it hard for me to go overseas to take care of my father. I need to remind myself also that dealing with a major change should be 'good practice' rather than a road leading to desperate despair. Keeping my attitude positive, taking refuge becomes essential at times like these - for I would surely sink if 'going it alone' at this time.

Another circle begins 1

I seem to have started a new cycle. Every so often, I appear to start over and rebuild the former restructuring of my life.

This time, a large dose of red-tape rigmarole concerning passport/visa applications and obtaining sufficient documents for such has dragged me down somewhat. Not knowing if my son is accompanying me on my overseas trip, nor how long I will be, nor if I will have a home to return to have been somewhat straining.

I am glad that I have begun to develop various qualities through my Buddhist practice to help me deal with these difficulties. Lack of attachment helps me handle the possibility of dumping a large part of our 3-bedroom home, as very little can fit in 1-2 suitcases!

Reading much of monks and nuns who live very simply with few possessions also helps me. If I begin to get teary-eyed at the loss of anything, I can compare myself to someone entering a monastery and leaving the world behind them.

Recognizing the truly important factors of life and that changes are bound to occur has also helped me cope with the otherwise stressful procedures. However, I still remain very tired and drained from the continual reassessments, and the need to live in a document-heavy society.

Stupa to heaven

You sometimes read the story of a small fly that accidentally circumambulated a stupa three times as, or shortly before, he died. This makes me wonder - as a practicing Buddhist, should we try to help dying creatures in this way?

If we find a half-dead bug, a dying cockroach, a shriveled up spider, or a dead fly - would it not be of assistance to them to do something rather than sweep them away, ignore them, or simply dispose of them?

Maybe we could actually help them, if we picked them up - albeit on a spoon or piece of cloth - and took them for a trip around a Buddha picture, statue, or other religious relic. If this worked to aid one fly on its path toward heaven, maybe it could assist multiple dying and dead bugs?

It may just be one small way in which we can help others. Especially those of us who do not find interaction with humans easy and therefore are somewhat limited in being able to bring Buddhism to them. After all, insects becoming heavenly beings is a large step that they would otherwise not be able t make. We would be speeding up their awakening… or maybe I have just gone soppy in my old age!