Another circle begins 2

With all the rigmarole of the government necessities involved with taking a trip abroad to care for an elderly relative for an unknown time, I have become slightly drained. I was spending the majority of my time simply living life, without the need for constant paperwork and officialness. It seems to have knocked me into a re-start.

Every so often, my life begins to begin again, losing ground and returning back a few steps. Knowing the steps I have already taken to be right, I can only take them once more and hope to cover new ground before the next slip-back.

I am trying to keep my focus upon my Buddhist practice and studies, and 'do the red-tape stuff' on the side. But it is harder to focus and concentrate without my mind wandering off into family concerns at the current time - leading to extra difficulty with meditation practice. Tunnel-vision focusing was a strongpoint until recently. Now I have to relearn it.

As life throws me all over the place, laughing, I hold firm to the belief that past karma has made the confusion inevitable and that my Buddhist practice will get me through, somehow. I cannot expect life to be easy forever, just because I have a strong intention to study and progress. I must keep reminding myself that troubles come to me because of my own past errors and not because the government itself is trying to make it hard for me to go overseas to take care of my father. I need to remind myself also that dealing with a major change should be 'good practice' rather than a road leading to desperate despair. Keeping my attitude positive, taking refuge becomes essential at times like these - for I would surely sink if 'going it alone' at this time.