Buddhist Practice: hatred 1

Hatred was hard for me to deal with at first, because there was so much of it within me - I was used to it. Of course, I did not like feeling hateful - but I used to feel that provided my hate was directed to those who purposefully did me wrong rather than just made mistakes, it was called for. Buddhism has since released me from this attitude, though it took a while.

When I first read a Buddhist text, it was one of the Dalai Lama's 'for everybody' Buddhist-based advice books. I found it curiously interesting and filled with good ideas - but I could NOT get my mind around accepting that hate of badness was wrong, only hate of goodness seemed to be wrong to me at that time.

I was trying hard to understand if there was a way of stopping myself from hating - as I have led a life where I have encountered a specific difficult enemy and much trouble from this source. I could at first see no way of benefiting by ceasing to hate him, because what he had done and was doing was 'wrong'.

Even once I had learned of karma, and how it may be my fault that I was being afflicted by someone doing wrong toward me, I found it impossible not to hate them for doing so. Even if it were my fault they were present in my life - I found it difficult to accept that it was not also their fault for doing something bad to me.