BUDDHIST PRACTICE: My need - why I cannot become a nun

I agree that a woman's natural place is within a family home, rather than a nunnery. It is my intention to remain in a home environment for as long as I can.

I naturally feel right when I can follow Mother Nature's guidance - cleaning the bathroom, weeding the vegetable patch, cooking from scratch, observing the birdlife in the yard, reading Buddhist texts, shopping for groceries, cuddling my man. I need to live a regular life in a Buddhist way, not a Buddhist life in a regular way.

In a nunnery, I would have to follow just one path of Buddhism. I prefer to read texts from a selection of lineages. I would have to regulate my prayer, meditation, text-study, mealtimes, etc into a set pattern. I prefer to practice in whichever way naturally feels right on each separate day.

I can learn better from a combination of Buddhist schools than from selecting one set and structured path. I progress more rapidly by taking my practice as it comes, than doing certain pieces at certain times. I need to go at my own pace, nature's pace. I cannot go at the pace of society or a nunnery.

I do not even think they have nunneries where I live that follow either Thai Dhutanga or Tibetan Vajrayana. Those are the two forms of Buddhism that I relate to and can learn from the most.

I need to devote most/all my day and life to Buddhist practice - but I cannot become a nun to do so.