BUDDHIST PRACTICE: MY RUNAWAY SON & HOW BUDDHISM HELPED ME COPE

I came home from an appointment to silence. Thinking my seventeen year old son was taking a nap, I began to cook our daily meal. Half way through boiling the rice, I noticed his shoes were not there. Checking, I found the latch on the front fly screen unhooked - he had gone!

Having recently completed high school level home education, and then being thrust into the adult world of searching for employment, whilst not yet exactly sure what he wanted to do with his life other than live wild in the mountains, he was naturally stressed. The pressure to find employment and take a job search course was wiping that mountain life dream away from actualization - as he knew he would have to wait until he was eighteen to live wild in the mountains. He did not wait - he left. There was no note left behind for me.

By the time it got dark, I realized he had probably taken off to his dream whilst still able, before getting trapped in a job; but it gets cold out there and I was concerned. I called the police and he was filed as a missing person. They briefly checked the local mountain and kept in touch with me.
I did not sleep very much that night, just two hours. All through the next day, I kept in contact with the police and missing persons unit, leaving one ear open in case he came home. He had left his wallet behind, and I did not think he could have much money on him. On the third day, as the police made a thorough search of the tracks on the local mountain, he casually appeared on the door step, just as if he had popped down the shop for ten minutes rather than been gone for two nights and three days. Naturally, I was relieved to have him home safe and sound.

My Buddhist practice helped me get through this difficult time. I had read of monks in places such as Thailand and Laos who wander around in the wild, sleeping in caves or under trees. I knew it COULD be done, and it was only fall, not yet the coldest part of winter. I knew my son was healthy and walked great distances; he knew the local mountains well and would be able to find a cave or stream, and he knew a little about bush tucker. Knowing that it was possible to live wild and wander about mountains was of reassurance to me. Knowing that monks did such voluntarily, I was further at ease.

Secondly, from reading much literature and also personal practice, I knew certain meditation methods for deep concentration and connection. These enabled me to link to my son. This helped me sense how he was feeling. On the first day, I sensed he was happy, at peace, enjoying himself. I was therefore able to know that he was not lying injured or freezing to death somewhere. Whereas I retained my concern, I at least had some connection and assurance that he was not in great trouble. On the second day, I sensed he was worried and later on angry. Whereas this concerned me, I knew he was still alive.

Locally, there was a storm and it had rained. I did not know then that he had taken a train to the Blue Mountains to explore and sleep rough for a few nights. Assuming he was stranded locally due to leaving his wallet behind, I worried that he might be sitting shivering in a cold, wet cave. This did not 'seem' to be the situation, but I could not sense exactly. I spent many hours trying to send vibes of 'come home', warmth, love, and peace to him.

My third ease from Buddhism came in the form that I had read of the way the Buddha and Devas of the godly realms take care of monks and other people in trouble or need. I sent a request out to them to bring him home, or at least keep him safe, warm and fed. In the end, he came home with a broken shoe lace and lack of funds preventing an extension to his explorations. I think my vibe-prayers were answered. Only the lace was broken - imagine if the whole shoe had fallen to pieces in the middle of nowhere and he could not walk back to safety and a train home!

My Buddhism has saved him too. Whereas many parents would ground or otherwise punish their son, or holler at him in their fear, he knew that I would not show anger to him and that it would be safe to come home. He was able to just walk in the door as if nothing had happened, knowing we would need to talk, but that I would stay calm with him.

Whereas my son slept against a log rather than meditated under a tree, like the Buddha, my son learned from his solitary natural experience. My son learned that Mother Nature is far kinder by day than night. I learned from this experience also. I learnt that practicing Buddhism had saved me from being a total nervous wreck and panic stricken being, allowing me to stay calm and steady and not freak in a sea of possible outcomes.