BUDDHIST PRACTICE: How my son's toes taught me that I can stay calm

After the excitement of last week, when my son stole away for a hiking holiday without taking his wallet or letting me know, you might think that life has allowed me to settle down to some serious reading, study, and another downloadable Buddhism class. However, my karmic residue had other plans. There were new lessons to learn, and once again, my son became my practice.

I was busy in the study, working on an article for a contest, when my son casually mentioned that he had a problem with his toe again, and that it was far worse than the last time. He had previously had trouble from an ingrown toenail becoming infected. This time, he had decided for himself to attend the doctor's clinic. It was very lucky that I had applied for new Medicare cards the previous day, and been given a paper slip to use in interim, for our cards had just run out at the start of June. Armed with the paper slip, I accompanied him to the clinic to enroll, as the doctor he had seen a year or two ago had closed down.

Luckily, we only had a half hour to wait. When he came out of the appointment room, I was prepared to pop into the chemist next door to pick up some antibiotics - if I could use my Eftpos card, having not expected to need cash, therefore not been to the bank this week. My son informed me that he now had to go to the hospital.

I had been practicing calmness with equanimity and this came in handy. Not only had my workday been interrupted at an inconvenient point, I had to go out in inclement weather after expecting an early night in bed with a book, and also had the arising of my son's toe problem, but now I had an extra expedition and concern. For the first time in my life, I was able to retain calmness and stay strong for my son. Whereas previously I would have seemed that way externally, my inner minds would have been racing about concocting wild possibilities and worries, panicking, and disrupting me with endless maybes. Buddhism has taught me to focus on the actual truth, and not go whizzing off into dramatic dreams and nightmares.

We arrived at the hospital and made our way to the emergency room. Once again, we were very lucky in that we only had to wait a half hour before the nurse had attended to his foot and the doctor taken my son into a consulting room for further evaluation. I noticed that I remained calm throughout the entire episode. Normally, I would have been fretting about, worrying about undone writing projects and missed deadlines, whether my son would lose a toe, what if he came out a different door and missed me, what if… This time, I simply sat there, practicing Buddhism! Focusing on the moment in hand, the actual real truth, and sending comforting compassionate vibes towards my son.

My son came out a half hour later, and we went home. He then made an appointment with a surgeon to have two toenails removed in a fortnight, whilst I went out for his medicines. I realized that this was the first 'dramatic occasion' on which I have remained calm throughout, stayed serene and relaxed, been able to focus on the present moment and stop my mind wandering down an endless panic-filled possibility list. This enabled me to be more helpful to my son. The thought of annoyance or irritation at his not having mentioned his toe sooner, or the disruption to my work, did not even try to push in and create anger within me. I may be a long way from erasing every kilesa, but I am at least progressing in keeping anger and irritation at bay.