My experience 2
When my mother died a few years ago, I shed no tears. At first, I felt there must be something wrong with me. I felt clean and clear, as if wiped free of anger for a few days. I had by now developed a strong belief in reincarnation, and this allowed the death to pass by without excessive weeping or emotion on my part.
Vince Welnick died a year or so later. I had spoken to him online from time to time, but was neither a close friend nor a family member. However, this was the first death after my grandmother at which tears were naturally shed. Whether it was the shock or sadness of so peaceful a soul passing, I am unsure. I wrote out my sorrows in the form of poetry and made a decision to personally do something of benefit on this planet, so that when he reincarnated, he would find it more to his liking. Peace and love were values he stood for, so I intended to widen my love and peace. Formerly, I had directed my love all to a partner, or to my son and closest friends. Due to Vince's death, I planned to extend this to a wider circle of friends.
Just a year or two later, Buddhism has enabled me to do this. Because I am now able to live without hatred, I can stop cringing and putting up barriers against certain beings. Because I have learned compassion and loving kindness, I am able to wrap the entire planet in a veil of such, envisioning a desire to offer such to all.
Looking back, I wonder if it might be that tears come to me only if a death means the rebirth occurring elsewhere, rather than a reincarnation here, upon earth. It is a theory that I intend to contemplate. My grandmother and Vince were both very peaceful beings, full of love. Maybe they have both moved to better places and this 'parting' stings more than those who rebirth in locations on earth, where I could easily reconnect to passed loved ones.
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