The shock method part 4

I have learned that I cannot follow Buddhism the way the rest of the Western world seems to. I cannot keep my everyday life and add in a few Buddhist principles and call myself a Buddhist - I have to become a Buddhist in totality and only hold on to the bits of 'my life' that remain.

When a traumatic shock hits, you can scream thru the chaos and lose hold of your faith - or you can hold on tightly and crawl out the other end having found an even deeper meaning in the Dharma.

I had a choice; I could remain holding on to only one of two key areas - myself or my purpose. I chose to continue with my aspiration and lose myself completely. During this process, what I learned from both teachings that I follow was all that I had to hold on to.

If I had remained living an everyday life and applying a couple of Buddhist principles, I would not have learned or progressed from my recent experience but have collapsed screaming. I had complete faith in what I was holding onto - and many aspects of my readings came to life about me, supporting my faith. I knew where I was and how to proceed simply because I had read so much and put so much of my life into living Buddhism.