Relocation blogging break

Just a quick message to any regular readers, to let you know that I have not stopped writing my BITW blog if you find no new posts over the next 1-2 months.

I am relocating to the other side of the planet, and I may be without internet access for some time - other than weekly visits to a net café - as I do not have a credit card or yet have a local bank account to organize ISP payments 'instantly' and my son may need to borrow my new-computer-savings for a rental bond.

I hope to re-start my blog writing within 4-8 weeks of the New Year. In the meantime, I shall endeavor to continue my studies of previously learned ACI courses (1-7), Shantideva, and PRACTICE…

HHDL in Sydney December 1&2

Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to be among circa 5000 people in attendance at HHDL's Nagarjuna teachings. This was a major event for myself, as I am sure it was for most of those attending the events offered. Not only had I not left my locality or traveled by train in over a year, but I had never before attended an event with HHDL or an 'official' teaching.

Several things stood out for me. Firstly, although the crowd was not entirely made up of Tibetan Buddhists, there was a strong representation of such among those present. Having had no contact other than through written texts and online groups with such, it was a relaxing and enjoyable experience to be in the same building with so many people practicing the same path as I for the first time.

Secondly, it is the first time that I have heard HHDL speak. I have read many of his books and several articles about him - but never before heard his actual voice. Despite his mentioning that he had flu and sneezing and snuffling on occasion, he spoke very calmly and clearly - and in very good English for a non-English speaker.

Thirdly, I noticed the importance of HHDL to the Tibetan population. Whereas I and many more respect and appreciated HHDL, the Tibetans seemed to cherish him considerably. This was brought out when a chanting-meditation session lead by a Tibetan woman occurred shortly before an afternoon session. It made me realize just how important this man is to the Tibetan people and allowed me to appreciate his presence even more myself.

Finally, it was a wonderful opportunity to connect to the Tibetan people and learn of their culture. Among the various activities, were Tibetan music played during the lunch break, many stalls with information, books, and contact to Tibetan people and groups, and a display of Tibetan traditional dancing performed in front of HHDL!

It was a totally exhausting experience also - as I had circa 2 hours travel before and after an all-day event two days in a row! I had to apply strong concentration during both the teachings and the meditation sessions that I attended - though I had relaxation time out while eating my lunch - they catered well, having both very-tasty vegetarian and vegan wraps!

Sudden changes

Buddhism recognizes change, thankfully. I am not without assistance therefore, when encountering major changes arriving in rapid fire. Although I would like to have a 'slow down' button to press, I think that I am doing 'ok' at least, if not pretty good, with all the change happening this month and next.

After wishing that bureaucratic institutions would hurry up a little, I am suddenly finding the last few pieces falling into place and my own life needing to speed up to handle everything. This time last week, I was looking at waiting 4-9 weeks before moving overseas. Yesterday, it shot forward to '13 days time'.

Within these last 13 days, I have tickets to attend H.H.D.L.'s Nagarjuna teachings in Sydney, an adult son to re-house, a 3-bedroom home and yard to clean and tidy - and pack or sell…

Buddhism has not left me screaming in chaos - although my heart might be pacing a tad faster. I can fall back into knowing that I am moving for the right reasons, to the right place, at the right time, to do the right thing. THIS time, I am moving because of the needs of others rather than a desirous heart, to offer assistance rather than seek out a dream, and to practice Buddhism in my life rather than wish I had more opportunity to act.

UPDATE: I wrote this blog yesterday, aimed at posting it today - already another change has arrived - due to my son's accommodation falling through, I am going to be delayed back to waiting 6-9 weeks after all...

UPDATE: But coming online today, I see my son should be eligible for said accommodation and may be able to pursue it after all. This means I may still be traveling in less than 2 weeks time OR in 7-9 weeks... and do not yet know!

I seem to be on a rapidly moving see-saw between helping my father by being THERE and helping my son by being HERE... Buddhism has taught me that providing I can eliminate any personal desires and emotions, and focus on these two people and the situation, I should not suffer whichever date I fly or way life turns...

Without Buddhism, I would be screaming in the midst of a chaotic mess right now!

Short quotes

"We humans are the only species with the power to destroy the earth as we know it. The birds have no such power, nor do the insects, nor does any mammal. Yet if we have the capacity to destroy the earth, so, too, do we have the capacity to protect it." ~ HHDL

"Silence your own emotions, and those of others sound far clearer. When you learn to focus on your clear light mind and cease to become obsessed with your own emotions, you become free to empathize with other sentient beings. You will then find yourself picking up their emotions. This can be an extremely confusing stage if you do not know that you are taking a step closer to becoming a Buddha." ~ a friend of mine

"How 'whizzzzzzz' and 'zzzzz' are rectified in meditation needs to be applied to the whole of one's life - especially when life is spent mostly in meditation!" ~ me

A problem to solve

I can understand the principle of offering assistance to others, but I am still learning how to actually put this into practice. Obviously, when encountering real life rather than contemplations, readings, or plans, there are going to be some difficult situations to learn from. I am currently experiencing one such matter.

There are two separate beings that I could assist. However, I cannot assist them both at the same time. The reason for this being that they live in separate countries and need physical presence as a part of the help required.

I find myself willing to assist both and able to assist either - but not both at once. Both have major temporary problems, both are related to me as family members, both have been analyzed and are free from personal preference or 'my choice', and both are counting on me - but, there is only one me and I am unable to assist both at once.

I have tried entering the know-zone, but the preparations for my upcoming travels, difficulty with another problem, compulsory brain-washing courses, and trying to organize an overseas relocation for 'soon' are somewhat limiting my ability to rest there.

I therefore estimate that my lesson to be learned here is not am I or am I not willing to help, nor can I or cannot I help, nor am I free of personal desire in making a choice, but something else. Perhaps I have to practice waiting patiently for answers to 'appear', maybe I need to use communication with one whilst actualization with the other, or perhaps I have to find some other track from which to analyze this…

Whatever happens, whatever I decide, I am bound to learn something new to help my studies - at least I have that!

Time will tell

I was reflecting on how much I have changed over the past 3-4 years, since I first picked up a Buddhist book, then another, another, and… I was soon reading and practicing too much to call myself anything but a Buddhist.

Although there is still much work to be done, the progress over the past 2-3 years of my life has been much greater than my entire life to that day. A mere five years ago, I still had remains of my childhood Spanish temper raging and roaring in my head, even if I had learned to control my body since becoming adult. Back then, I very rarely thought of other people apart from my close family and friends. I used to kill bugs, bait mice, and eat meat nearly everyday, without a thought to what I was doing.

Looking at myself now, I am not yet perfect, but I have come a long way. My angry furious mood is usually restricted to a mild irritation or annoyance, I am fully vegetarian and almost vegan, I don’t use any bug killer or bait at all, and I have recently begun to think of other people before myself.

The latter is something I did not think would be possible - yet I am in the middle of a situation where my difficulties lie between how to best please two other parties. I suddenly realized, whilst considering the two options, that I had altogether forgotten to think about what would be best for myself! It simply had not crossed my mind. This was quite amazing to me - it remains a surprise that I have managed to get this far considering my selfish and greedy past. I am not saying I am entirely improved - but that the first steps are finally surfacing.

Practice V study

I find it very difficult to practice more than study, and much easier to study a lot and practice a little. This seems to work for me, although I know it is the case for everyone.

I find that if I KNOW something, I can act upon what I know much easier, clearer, and quicker than if I have to learn it by finding out.

I find that if I ACT and then learn what I have done right or wrong from my actions, it is more difficult, complex, and messy than if I already know what t do and err only in the activity.

I therefore like to study a lot, and learn from internal experiences and wisdom as step one, with step two being practicing acting it out and 'fine-tuning' based on the results.

Recently, I have had no brain-time to memorize texts, meditate properly, or focus on the Dharma - due to 'everyday life' being difficult for a while. This has made it essential to act and then learn from the results instead, and I make far more errors this way, which takes much longer.

Hopefully in a month or two, I will have sorted out my hassles and be free once more to study 75% and practice 25%!

His Holiness says…

'basically we are all same human being who want happiness and do not want suffering.'

I agree with this statement, but it becomes a problem when acting upon it. When I work on my own personal situation, I can progress at a fairly steady pace and accomplish some ground. However, when I look at the situation in its completeness, recognize the role of others and then try to act - I fail.

I have learned how to traverse the karmic onslaught and remain calm and unattached as events flow me forward on my own path. I can stay level-headed whether things go good or bad for 'me'. Where the difficulties arise for me, are when I am dealing with relations involving other beings.

I have yet to learn a way in which to accept THEIR karmic influences holding them back from THEIR happiness. I remain determined and active in attempting to assist them with both understanding and dealing with arising problems - but I cannot help myself from getting frustrated and uptight when I can see them try to seek happiness but fail, whether I am helping or just observing.

I suppose I shall have to relearn everything from scratch - and this time learn it for dealing with other people's situations, rather than my own!

The Jataka Tales

I have recently completed reading the download version of the well-known book.

I found the coverage of the Buddha's life story interesting, although I had read many accounts of his 'main' life previously.

I found the brief references to the Buddha's former lives during the lives of other Buddhas informative, also.

What I would have liked to have read is the COMPLETE assemblage of ALL tales, however. Many of the stories referred to as 'Jataka' are obviously hidden in some other book, as this one ends with 'and now we will tell the stories of all his births...' but no further stories are present.

For those interested, the book is a free download sited at buddhistbirth00daviuoft.pdf

The Time Factor

Over the Australian winter months, I have had enough free time to focus on my Buddhist studies and practice. As spring appears, I am finding more of my time occupied by work and red-tape rigmarole. This has a draining effect on me.

I long for the next period of vacant time, in which to focus on my studies once more. I miss the day-long concentration that results in progress and deep learning. With only a few moments to read a chapter or take a class, very little sinks in.

This reminds me how little time the majority of people have for practice. I have chosen to live a slow-paced simplistic life, yet even I find periods of rush and strain that steal me from my preferred studies. Previously, I was able to devote the majority of my day to Buddhism - spending most of each day in reading, memorizing, prayer, practice, meditation, and classes. Now, I am squashing other matters together to cram in enough time to read a single chapter and my mind is too unsettled to get deep enough to meditate properly.

Falling down again

Despite having taken great strides in the area of self improvement across the past 3-4 years, I seem to always find myself back where I began. If I climb up a mountain 10 meters, I seem to slip back to having made only 1-2 meters covered ground. Sometimes, things are not as they appear though…

Recently, I was applying Buddhist practices to try to prevent a major slip back, knowing I was going through some difficult times and I would be likely to fall backward. However, for the first time ever, I had difficulty in concentrating. I have not had a problem with meditative focus since beginning practice, due to already deeply concentrating for my writing, etc. I hastily ran to the notes in the ACI course on meditation to review, not having needed the instructions for dealing with 'agitated restless minds' previously.

Even this did not work, so I began to realize that it might not be my own problem. I must have been picking up someone else's worries, concerns, and panic. It was not mine, but my empathic connections.

From this, I was able to scan everyone I knew and detect the origin, in order to offer THEM relief - which in turn would relieve me! Usually, it is the pigeons I pick up on, but this time it was a human source, so easier to remedy.

Another circle begins 2

With all the rigmarole of the government necessities involved with taking a trip abroad to care for an elderly relative for an unknown time, I have become slightly drained. I was spending the majority of my time simply living life, without the need for constant paperwork and officialness. It seems to have knocked me into a re-start.

Every so often, my life begins to begin again, losing ground and returning back a few steps. Knowing the steps I have already taken to be right, I can only take them once more and hope to cover new ground before the next slip-back.

I am trying to keep my focus upon my Buddhist practice and studies, and 'do the red-tape stuff' on the side. But it is harder to focus and concentrate without my mind wandering off into family concerns at the current time - leading to extra difficulty with meditation practice. Tunnel-vision focusing was a strongpoint until recently. Now I have to relearn it.

As life throws me all over the place, laughing, I hold firm to the belief that past karma has made the confusion inevitable and that my Buddhist practice will get me through, somehow. I cannot expect life to be easy forever, just because I have a strong intention to study and progress. I must keep reminding myself that troubles come to me because of my own past errors and not because the government itself is trying to make it hard for me to go overseas to take care of my father. I need to remind myself also that dealing with a major change should be 'good practice' rather than a road leading to desperate despair. Keeping my attitude positive, taking refuge becomes essential at times like these - for I would surely sink if 'going it alone' at this time.

Another circle begins 1

I seem to have started a new cycle. Every so often, I appear to start over and rebuild the former restructuring of my life.

This time, a large dose of red-tape rigmarole concerning passport/visa applications and obtaining sufficient documents for such has dragged me down somewhat. Not knowing if my son is accompanying me on my overseas trip, nor how long I will be, nor if I will have a home to return to have been somewhat straining.

I am glad that I have begun to develop various qualities through my Buddhist practice to help me deal with these difficulties. Lack of attachment helps me handle the possibility of dumping a large part of our 3-bedroom home, as very little can fit in 1-2 suitcases!

Reading much of monks and nuns who live very simply with few possessions also helps me. If I begin to get teary-eyed at the loss of anything, I can compare myself to someone entering a monastery and leaving the world behind them.

Recognizing the truly important factors of life and that changes are bound to occur has also helped me cope with the otherwise stressful procedures. However, I still remain very tired and drained from the continual reassessments, and the need to live in a document-heavy society.

Stupa to heaven

You sometimes read the story of a small fly that accidentally circumambulated a stupa three times as, or shortly before, he died. This makes me wonder - as a practicing Buddhist, should we try to help dying creatures in this way?

If we find a half-dead bug, a dying cockroach, a shriveled up spider, or a dead fly - would it not be of assistance to them to do something rather than sweep them away, ignore them, or simply dispose of them?

Maybe we could actually help them, if we picked them up - albeit on a spoon or piece of cloth - and took them for a trip around a Buddha picture, statue, or other religious relic. If this worked to aid one fly on its path toward heaven, maybe it could assist multiple dying and dead bugs?

It may just be one small way in which we can help others. Especially those of us who do not find interaction with humans easy and therefore are somewhat limited in being able to bring Buddhism to them. After all, insects becoming heavenly beings is a large step that they would otherwise not be able t make. We would be speeding up their awakening… or maybe I have just gone soppy in my old age!

Life Appreciation

Recently released is my 11th book, 'Life Appreciation'. I mention it in my Buddhism blog as one of the main topics it addresses is Buddhism. Although there is a lot more involved, Buddhism is one of the key areas that is mentioned.

The book as a whole deals with ways of making life not only survivable, but more enjoyable. It discusses ways in which we can all make alterations to our lifestyle in order to fully live our lives and benefit not only ourselves, but also the world about us. Some of the topics the book mentions include Yoga, Tong-len, vegetarianism, ahimsa, chemical-free living, peace, and a positive attitude.

The book also offers a collection of healthy from-scratch recipes, advice on growing vegetables at home, and ideas for keeping fit - physically, mentally, and spiritually. There is a free preview that anyone interested can check out available at www.lulu.com/winterbear.

Comparing post death within Buddhism and Christianity

In Christianity, it is said that good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell when their body dies. That may be right, but it is not the entire story. In Buddhism, good actions are ingrained as good karma in the mind-continuum and bad actions and thoughts as bad karma. Good karma takes us up to higher realms such as heaven and bad karma to the lower realms such as hell. But this is not the END. In Christianity, death appears to be so - it is all over with; you stay put where you are sent. In Buddhism, that is not the case. You continue to get reborn in new bodies and realms continuously until such time as you rectify every badness into goodness. We are reborn repeatedly until we perfect goodness and learn to reject badness.

Nor is the Christian view a COMPLETE belief. There are other options to heaven and hell. You might be reborn again as a human or an animal on our own or another planet among other possibilities. You do not find these options in the Christian faith. It therefore seems that Christianity has either lost a part of reality or perhaps it has over simplified matters to make it easier to understand. Whilst the Christian viewpoint is not wrong, it would seem more useful to me to broaden and deepen the perspective to its fullest scope.

BEDTIME = WORKTIME!

Over the past 5-7 weeks, I have spent much more of my time in bed that usual. This may sound extremely lazy of me, but I can assure you it is not. I have been spending the extra time in beditation. I find it far easier to meditate in bed than a traditional seated posture, as I do not have to continually reposition my spine, eyelids, or neck to stay in the correct position.

I can do the calm-abiding meditation in the regular half-lotus position, although my eyes become strained if they are not fully open or fully shut, but when it comes to analytical meditation, lying down is the only way I can (personally) progress. When I am in bed, my body rearranges itself as it needs automatically, and I am free to put all concentration into my efforts to analyze.

During the latter half of karma classes, I had to increase my meditation time. It was a serious subject that I found extremely interesting. These classes were followed by a course on the Diamond Cutter Sutra, which also necessitated extra meditation effort.

Karma and emptiness are both major league subjects that require a lot of out-of-class participation. To properly learn either, the classes, notes, questions, and memorizing is not enough. You need to use what you learn in relation to your own life - and to do this, I have to beditate. This meant spending at least 2 hours per 24 meditating, often more.

This may sound excessive for a layperson rather than a nun, but I have found it very helpful. Not only do I have enough time to fully explore each section of the topics in class, but I also feel much healthier with spending more time horizontal than vertical. (I expect this stems from the added physical rest combined with the extra blood flow to the brain.)

So, I have not grown lazy in my old age, but quite the opposite! In fact, the longer I spend in bed, the harder I work!

Refrain from stealing 2

Does the cow approach the human, to satisfy our need?
Or do we steal its milk, to satisfy our greed?
The tuna fish in your lunch sandwich did not flip,
for your belly's pleasure from the ocean into a ship.
Thieves we are, to take so much and not even care.
Replacing ungifted products with frustration and despair.

A chicken does not solely lay its egg,
To say 'eat my baby, of you I beg'.
The bees did not create honey to be yummy,
Just to give you sweetness and fill your tummy.
Humanity is wrong to take what is not freely gifted
We should begin to think and care, that our minds are truly shifted.

Refrain from stealing 1

I have recently decided to become vegan, primarily based on my Buddhist practice. Some beliefs say 'do not steal', others, 'refrain from stealing' or 'do not take what is not freely given to you'. If you explore this principle, you hit on the notion that animals have NOT freely given us their products - and you then need to either change your diet or change your belief.

The cows, hens, and bees, etc did NOT come up to humans and willingly make us a donation of their products, did they? It is as if we STOLE from them, without asking or even CARING, and that doesn’t sit right with me. Once you get into the principle deep enough and look at things from THEIR side - it appears wrong to continue to take from them.

I look at my own kind - humans - and I see a bunch of people who - mostly - don't see what they are doing. Blindly doing what everybody else does, ignorantly, uncaring. Some care; mostly indigenous cultures. Some of my own kind bless or pray for the spirit of the animal giving or dying for their belly's sake - but most of us do not even see this factor as we visit the grocery store and grab whatever we want, thoughtlessly.

I care enough to limit my own pleasure and diet in order to STOP this cruelty. I have to live with my karma and heart, and I do not want murder, theft, or causing distress, anger and misery to be lodged on either my karmic score or in my heart's feelings. Recognizing how inconsiderate we are being to other creatures is enough to make me want to stop my own participation. Considering the harmful karma that could arise from continuing to steal is enough to make me stop personally participating.

Karma and Dharma - my sinus cure

As I began Diamond Cutter Sutra study, I heard that it possibly leads to temporary pains and difficulties - such as headaches, etc - in order to prevent us from spending time in hell. This seems a preferable option - a minor league suffering to learn from now that eradicates the karmic potential to suffer major league in the future. But when I first began these studies, I felt a glowing warmth, clear, clean, and much healthier… Midway through the course I had a mild dose of flu, but that might have been due to the weather changes - we suddenly had a few days of 30 degrees daytime with under 10 at nights - and two major gales.

I assumed that I must have already been dealing with 'instant karma' throughout my life so far, and that this is almost certainly where my sinus problems have stemmed from. I usually get sinus problems from one of two things - heavy air pressure or spiritual poisons. I am beginning to realize that both can be dealt with dharmically.

To stay sinus problem free from air pressure, I need to contemplate the analogy of clouds being obstructions. If I can visualize remaining on the sunny side of the clouds within my head regions, then I am above the clouds and they do not obscure the Dharma. Relating this to the physical clouds and weather changes frees me from them mentally and physically.

To stay sinus problem free from spiritual attack, I need to visualize the poisons of Mara and karmic residue rolling off my brain, like raindrops roll off a pigeons' feathers in a shower. This, I hope, will keep the poison outside of me and I will not experience and react to it, causing the sinus problems to arise.

TERMINOLOGY

One problem we have in the Western world, is that Buddhism comes with multiple choices and options. Many of us get a taste of it through several different lineages and schools before finding the one that clicks with us. This can lead to confusion in many areas, including with the terminology.

For example, if referring to the person known in one lingo as an Arhat, they may also be known in different languages as a Foe Destroyer or an Arahant, as well as other terms from other places and languages.

Whereas I have found it easy to connect the right word to the right being, it remains difficult to recall which language the words I use stem from. This can lead to a written paragraph or spoken conversation using words from multiple sources. For example, I may refer to Sanskrit, Pali, Thai, and Tibetan, all in the same paragraph.

Once you have completed much study, it is not so bad - as you come across the various terms for the same matter so often that you may eventually learn them all. But at first, it can be exceedingly confusing to have to learn three or four different words for the same item.

THE DHARMA TREE 2

The dharma is the roots and the trunk is our knowing-mind. The branches and twigs are our sensings and our emotions; the leaves our thoughts. Whilst the tree relies on dharma sap to grow well, it can be affected by karmic and demonic winds. When these hit the leaves of thought or galefully push and play with the twigs of our emotions, we need to focus only on the trunk and dig our awareness deeply down into the roots to prevent confusion or wrongness affecting us.

I like to sit in my trunk and stay there - with only naturally arisen thought and emotion, not bending or swaying to the fancy of the karmic winds or demonic demands…

The battles of mara and karma swish away furiously at my leaves - so I sit in my trunk
To fight the battle would run me out of energy - you cannot prove truth or justice by fighting against lies or injustice - only by silently waiting and staying true within.

Safe below - inward go - stay and grow.
Danger outside - bashed and torn - all forlorn.

Stable and immobile am I, as raging gales my leaves destroy with animosity.
But I do not live in my leaves the way most people do - instead, I live inside, deep down - dharma touched - as Buddhism has taught me to. Secure as the storms rage outside.

THE DHARMA TREE 1

The roots are dharma and flow sap thru all of me.
The trunk is my know-mind, strong, steady, solid, firm, security.
The branches are my sense-mind, the place for empathy, compassion, communication other than with words, understanding, and sensitivity.
The twigs are my emote-mind, feelings, emotions, enthusiasm and energy.
The leaves are my think-mind, thought, contemplation, direction, attitude and memory.

Clearness and calmness come when I focus on my trunk; a concentrated dharma sap flows vibrantly.
Confusion and damage come when I live in my leaves; rains of Mara and winds of karma distort and damage me.

36+ people to make one cup of coffee? Part 2/2

Next, I considered the apparatus used in creating the single daily cup of coffee that I enjoy. Person 17 extracted the resources. Person 18 manufactured the kettle. Person 19 packaged my kettle. Person 20 transported the kettle to a store. Person 21 sold the kettle at their store. Person 22 was the checkout chick who sold my kettle to me. Person 23 obtained the clay to make my mug. Person 24 manufactured my mug. Person 25 packaged the mugs and bowls etc into boxes. Person 26 transported the mug to the store. Person 27 sold the mug at their store. Person 28 sold me this mug at the checkout. Person 29 was the bus driver that drove me home with the heavy purchase of my kitchen crockery set. Person 30 extracted the materials to create my plunger. Person 31 manufactured the pieces of my plunger. Person 32 put the plunger pieces together. Person 33 packed my plunger. Person 34 transported my plunge to the store. Person 35 sold the plunger at their store. Person 36 sold me my plunger at the checkout.

It ended up taking 36 humans minimum to allow me to enjoy my daily cuppa when I counted for a second time. (This does NOT include the company at the breakfast table, Buddha for leading me to appreciate the simple meal, or people who made my dining table/chair…)

…and think how many more beings would be involved if I added sugar and milk to my coffee, or actually ate food for breakfast!

36+ people to make one cup of coffee? Part 1/2

I was following a Buddhist practice that I was reading about designed to help us learn to appreciate everybody as being helpful to us and allowing us t grow gratitude for the many people we do not know who help us to enjoy our life. I have read about this practice in 2-3 books and decided to work with it. The practice was to select one particular meal and then think through how many 'other' people it took to create the ability for me to enjoy that meal.

I selected breakfast. I do not eat anything at this hour, but I do enjoy a single cup of coffee. I initially counted 31 beings that helped create that single cup of coffee for me - and I don’t take sugar or milk, which would have added many more!

Firstly, I considered the coffee itself. Person 1 planted and grew the coffee plant. Person 2 harvested the coffee beans. Person 3 roast the beans. Person 4 ground the beans. Person 5 packaged the beans. Person 6 exported the beans. Person 7 imported the beans. Person 8 sold the beans in their store. Person 9 sold them to me at the checkout.

Secondly, I looked at the mineral water I use to add to the beans. Person 10 captured the water from a spring into a bottle. Person 11 obtained the resources to make the bottle. Person 12 made the bottle to contain the water. Person 13 transported the bottle to the store. Person 14 sold the water in their store. Person 15 sold it to me at the checkout. Person 16 was the home delivery man who took it home for me as I do not have a car.

The fly of joyfulness

When you are working on increasing joyfulness, a simple action can bring great joy. Last week, I was coming inside with the dry laundry and noticed a fleck in the water tub we leave on our doorstep for pigeons, doves, and other birds to drink form and bathe in. After dumping the clothes, I returned to check.

It was not moving, so I thought it was dead. However, something made me scoop it out from the water with a finger anyway - just in case.

I gently rolled the fly from my finger onto the bedroom windowsill, to allow it to dry out in the sunshine if it were still living. It walked away from the wet patch on the sill…

For those of us who are not yet experienced enough to assist our fellow humans, helping to rescue a tiny insect can be a way in which to gain joy from doing something right and beneficial. We cannot all be Buddhas that save multiple human minds from suffering - but any of us can rescue a small bug from death and feel joyful that we have at least been able to save one tiny life.

THE JIGSAW OF BUDDHISM

When you first begin to learn about Buddhism, it is like picking up a corner piece or a jigsaw puzzle without a cover picture as a guide. You realize it bears some importance, but…

And the you find one or two more edge pieces that fit together with it, you expand your knowledge on a certain topic - but find other edge pieces that do not fit at all. It is as if your corner piece was the 4 Noble truths and you found pieces concerning karma, emptiness, or meditation…

And then you discover another corner piece that relates to some of the unused edge pieces and go AH-HA! You work on two corners and slot in a few more bits. Then you find a third corner…

Eventually, you get to the stage where you have 4 solid corner pieces and sections of outside edging and then the wondrous day when these all join up to form the outline of Buddhism! You know that the mass of other pieces all belong and that you will eventually find their select spot and place the correctly - that one day you will have the full picture in front of you.

Peace and education 2

The peace I have found from this course has enabled me to stay calm amidst situations where once I would have become greatly upset. This can lead to a contentment that reaches others, values and compassion, inner strength, confidence, and openness. Knowing how to properly insert figures on paper, panting and puffing, snuffling and wheezing in the name of 'health', and being taught to put my fingers in specific places on a keyboard that did not enable me to type very easily after having already learned to type quickly from my own finger placings had little benefit if any.

The lessons we are given in school today may be somewhat different from my own, taken in England over twenty years ago, but seem to be just as pointless. They prepare a student to complete tasks they may never need to do, give no inner values or personal understanding to the student, and equip one with a piece of paper 'qualifying' the student post exam in processes of structured learning without ever having taught the student to live their life.

I can see now why His Holiness is so often stressing the need for a non-religious moral code to be created, one that is suited to all of humanity. Although learning of karma through the ACI course is of great benefit and use to me and anyone open to Buddhist teachings, to one opposed to the Buddhist view it would be of no help. The concepts of karma need to be expressed in a multi-faith format in order to be suited to a wider range of human. But even then, certain religions are opposed to the ideas of karma and rebirth, so more than a simple rephrasing of concepts would be needed.

Peace and education 1

His Holiness the Dalai Lama has been given an award for his contributions toward the promotion of peace whilst in Poland. When giving a talk, he reportedly mentioned several factors…

* that the true point of education is to lead a consequential and contented life, which floods out to family, society and humanity as a whole.
* that moral values bring about a compassionate person who will be happier.
* that compassionate and tender education leads to inner fortitude, self-confidence, and openness.

These points confirm my belief that the education currently given within schools today is somewhat lacking. It was not until long after having left school that I learned lessons of value, such as compassion and peace. Algebra, road-running, and typing classes would hardly lead one to such an outcome.

As I said in my last sharing, recently taking the Karma course from ACI Buddhist studies offered me the opportunity to learn something of great value. I was able to use what I had learned and live from a brand new understanding and viewpoint.

This study has led me to inner peace through acceptance of situations I formerly found difficult or unfair, the ability to assist others who are also in these situations with me, rather than scream for aid from them, and the wisdom to act correctly in order to manufacture far less detrimental karma.

Of great karmic assistance

I recently completed the fifth downloadable course from ACI. It deals with karma. I would recommend it to everyone, especially if you question why you are in the situations that you are, feel that despair, confusion, or injustice surround you, or want to make the future better than the present and past.

Of the five courses I have so far taken, this has been the most helpful. On its completion, I immediately encountered a situation, which I would normally have found to be troublesome, painful, confusing, and agonizing. Because of my studies and following contemplative meditation, I was able to fully comprehend situation, accept it, and know how to help a friend who was also involved to deal with their pain and confusion. I was able to stop the progression of further detrimental karma and refresh my life to expect a better future - additionally to assist my friend to do likewise, rather than let us 'screw up' all over again.

As each individual situation arises from individual previous actions, it is best to learn for yourself. I am no Buddha and can only help the people I am personally close to at my current stage - BUT, I can suggest that anyone with questions and problems they seek the cause for study this course!

(It can be found at http://www.acidharma.org/aci/index.html under online classes and course 5.)

Dealing with demons 2

Another improvement I have gradually made across the years is not reacting forcefully to oppose each sighted wrongfulness without assessing where it comes from. Many times I have been tricked into thinking a wrongness originates from an innocent friend and therefore lost their friendship. Instead of needing someone to recognize that I am under attack and cleanse me, I can now see it as attack and stop actions that could do further damage and wait it out, almost at the stage where I can additionally assist others suffering from the same group-attack.

Although I still suffer physically in the form of sinus problems and fever when attacked by a demon, I can now limit the harm done to the physical realm and prevent bad karma arising due to my former ignorant reactions. I prefer to stay clean and safe 'below in the know' than fight back and INSIST upon righting any wrongs seemingly dealt to me by group-friends.

I hope to further progress to such stage that I am able to instantly be aware of a demon attack as it happens rather than shortly afterwards. I also hope to develop my skills enough to be able to help secure fellow group-friends rather than expect to be helped or stay safe and watch them fall then pick up the pieces.

Dealing with demons 1

Before I discovered Buddhism, I encountered a viciously destructive demon within the spiritual zone. Without experience, I had to use rightness and hope to survive these damaging attacks. I had no idea how to stop them, deal with them, or prevent them from harming my present life or future. I simply snarled back, defending my right to stay true and just, whatever rubbish they filled me with. I simply rejected these pollutive poisons and fought back, further damaging myself but staying 'right' minded.

It was a relief to hear Geshe Michael Roach address the problem of demons during one of the karma course classes offered by ACI. Although it is not an everyday problem for me, it does recur from time to time. It was useful to hear the stance of Buddhism and learn how one should react when a demon surfaces. Although the illustration given referred to the original ACI class group, it could be reflected into any group of Buddhist or truth/life students.

I am improving, but am not yet perfected at recognizing the onset of a demonic attack. Once I do recognize such, I am currently able to ride it out below the pollutive poisons and simply wait until the rubbish fades away like clouds drifted from the sky above. I no longer try to fight back and demand justice and naturalness, but wait where such lies until it can fill every area of life once more.

Food & sex

If food and sex are the two main causes for people craving continuation of samsara, it would be advisable to check one's attitude in relation to these factors. This can help establish how one's practice is progressing, by observing the difference attitudes across the years of practice.

Taking 'food': over the years I have changed m diet regularly. Most changes have been steps in the direction of health, such as eating 95% home-made from-scratch foods and becoming a vegetarian. However, I still seem to put a greater emphasis on taste than health, so there is still much work to do. I need to get to the stage where I can eat only healthy and natural foods and not mourn for the delicious flavors and meals I used to enjoy before I can say I have been successful here.

Taking 'sex': my attitudes ranged through early interest and curiosity, youthful experimentation and anything-goes thrills, middle-aged love-centering, to my current attitude of limitation to its use only for affection and health. I can say that I am over the 'thrill-needing' stage and can currently take it or leave it, providing I can use it on necessary occasion for health purposes - which I am currently developing alternatives for.

It looks like I need to put in more work on detachment from food…

SHORT BREAK

Just a quick message to any regular readers or BITW -

I have not vanished, died, stopped writing, or had all my fingers chopped off -

I am just taking a 1-2 week break from most of my blogs in order to focus on other matters such as editing my 11th book and will be back with new posts shortly!

Meditating on cosmic consciousness 2

I am currently exploring the connection between cosmic consciousness and material matters...

If you believe in the cosmic consciousness running like one bicycle wheel with the other wheel made up of the material, physical universe, and the two operating along the path of 'big-bang - big-crunch' on constant repeat, then you can contemplate the possibility of déjà vu stemming from a former happening having happened in a former universe to a former you, rather than it stemming from dreamtime-gained spiritual precognition.

Which leads which? Is it a parallel movement, or does one start the other shifting? Does the material shift between each of the two sequences of big bang and big crunch produce a likeness within the cosmic consciousness, or vice versa? If the mobility of the cosmic consciousness directs the cause of the material universe, then this could be the 'reason' for the big bang and big crunch changing over that scientists cannot locate.

If this is the process involved, then the Buddhist acknowledgment of no-self and cosmic unity would appear to be that which turns the physical and spiritual expansion into the return to unity, both within the levels of mind and the physical planetary systems.

(There is obviously much more analytical meditation for me to do, but these are my current areas of investigation.)

Meditating on cosmic consciousness 1

Although I cannot perform analytical meditation in the traditional seated position, which I use only for centering meditation, I often spend pre/post sleep time in 'beditation' or turn from daytime mindfulness to auto-mindedness in order to contemplate, analyze, understand, and experience. My latest topic is cosmic consciousness.

In order to understand where I am at, I need to explain that my view of the mind levels includes the thought-creating-mind, emotion-creating-mind, sensing-empathetic-mind, knowing-wisdom-mind, and inner divinity. From these, the first 2-3 come into the category of personal 'self' mind and the latter 2-3 of accessing a 'universal' or cosmic mind.

After having read, studied, and learnt about various Buddhist beliefs pertaining to karmic residue, kilesa eradication, spiritual communication, and the universal principle, my own 'pondering-wandering's can flow. I am currently exploring the connection between cosmic consciousness and material matters…

Update required on intoxicants?

I am wondering if there should be an update to Buddhist terminology or subjects - I mean, way back in the Buddha's own day, 'intoxicants' may have been the worst substance one could consume - however, these days, there are far worse in the manner of foods that can distort, irritate, and interfere with one's practice.

This pondering comes from personal experimentation. I have checked each level of my mind that I currently use, and can find that they all function well enough after a bottle of beer or a glass of wine. Perhaps if I were fasting and then took an enormous glassful of sherry or port styles wine, I may find otherwise, but I can see no damage to my practice from a daily post/pre-dinner drink.

What I have recently found to be a problem is gourmet jelly beans. I have noticed that a small packet of 50g taken as a dessert DOES affect my mind disfavorably.

I have made several healthy changes to my diet as a whole over the past few years, now eating a vegetarian diet and only 1-1.5 meals per day, usually. Maybe the fact that I seldom eat high-sugar foods or foods with coloring/flavoring added has led to the occasional treat as backfiring on me. Otherwise, it might be that I now use different levels of my mind and have a different lifestyle and attitude. These may not function so well with gourmet jelly beans as with my usual food.

Whether it is the ingredients directly or indirectly, I shall not be buying another 50g pack of gourmet jelly beans again. I certainly do not want to ruin my progress by munching an occasional unhealthy treat. Therefore, I am wondering if perhaps there should be an update - that 'intoxicants' should now refer to foods that are toxic to the mind levels, as well as the more usual meaning of alcohol and drugs. Many of the modern foods that a lot of people regularly consume are laden with these artificial ingredients or high sugar levels - perhaps these should also come into this category, because they definitely affect my mental processes disfavorably - including the ones that I use for my practice.

Karmic residue

I can FEEL that the purpose of flashbacks to former unhappy parts of this current life might be getting rid of some of my karmic residue. At first, I thought I was falling backward when this happened…

It appears that each time I make a major leap forward, and 'clear' a blockage, I will find myself thrown back into my past miseries. The first way this happens is that my mind starts working the way it used to and needs to be told - once more - 'NO! the improvement is the way that I am going to live.' The second way is as if I am reverting to a past error that has to be ingrained as an error rather than 'the past' I threw away and grew out of. It is as if I have to learn how to deal with such a problem if it recurs, now I have learned better.

Whereas once I was horrified when I found my old ways come back again, or my mind trapped in former misery; now that I can view the REASON for this, I can stay happy - I am getting rid of even more karmic residue! (The more I deal with now, the less that will be left!!)

Removing the major league mental faults

Dealing with hatred, anger, and fear is one of the first Buddhist principles I 'tested' and found to work. I was reading a Buddhist biography about a monk who had succeeded in eradicating his kilesas, when my own dropped away. Maybe this is because I saw what I read as wonderful and gave it my respect, or perhaps it was a foretaste of what was a natural path for me to take.

By the time my anger tried to return, I had read several books more on Buddhist theory and practices. I understood the benefits of learning to live without anger, fear and hatred, and had also some experience of life without this 'nasties'.

As anger tried to creep back into my head, I was disgusted. I did not want that dirty emotion back in my mind! I took up the teachings I had read and practiced ways of stopping it return. I am now able to control the major leaguers, although I am still faulty when it comes to dealing with the subtle guys. For ridding oneself of the gross guys, there are three main steps:

1. Recognize how horrid it is to experience anger, fear, and hatred.
2. Separate the event from the instigator.
3. Learn to feel compassion for the instigator and/or regard the event as a karmic lesson, only present in your life because of your own wrongfulness in history.

Cultivating joy 3

Some of the useful Buddhist tools that assist with cultivating JOY are:

* remember that the problems of life are temporary.
* if you can control and cease your thought, your inner wisdom can solve many matters, without creating more.
* JOY is positive; concern is negative - in that it leads to the main 'problems' known within Buddhism, of hatred, anger, and ignorance.
* JOY holds the reality of the situation, before your thinking-mind can lead you astray.
* JOY may replace restful sleep, but that is much better than being awake and unrested.
* remember that these difficulties are present in the form of karmic lessons to be learned, and not attacks from life, nature, enemies, or society. Find JOY in the fact that you have the opportunity to learn from these situations and make progress.
* small worries and major troubles will be present whatever attitude is held. Letting them stir up negatives decreases progress, whereas letting them pass by and accepting their lessons gives positive progress.
* learn to blame your history as the karmic cause and learn the lessons your own past has created for you now, rather than blaming he physical 'now' surfacing point of these matters.

I can be joyful that I have learned enough to try to use these opportunities rather than letting them become out of hand routes to despair.

I can be joyful that troubles come to teach me something, rather than as a war I have to fight.

I can be joyful that I will survive whatever problems arise, whether I am successful in dealing with them or not, but that if I am successful in handling them, they will be smaller and there will be less lying ahead of me.

I should remain, retain, and regain JOY - as I can then see the problems clearly and not make mistakes or let them get out of hand due to mental dysfunctions.

"I try to view worries and concerns as a heavy mist that tries to dampen my day.
They have no true purpose in life, so I simply blow them away."

Cultivating joy 2

Secondly, if a few minor worries are thudding into my mind akin to a rain of medium heaviness constantly thudding upon a window pane, I used to toss and turn all night and day until it stopped and arising matters passed into my history. I would pick at a notion and pull it to pieces, seeing the blackest of blacks possible - and being grateful that the actuality only turned out to be dark gray at the worst. After studying Buddhism, I now have a new way to deal with these minor league hits from life.

Although I am far from perfection, I am currently trying to learn how to catch these worries as they surface and stop them at this point. This is where the cultivation of joy comes in.

Suppose there are a few minor difficulties floating about my life. As I go to bed at the end of the day, I might begin to doze off and suddenly one will pop up. It is at this precise point that I should stop thinking 'darn it, I want to get some sleep' and start thinking about stopping these thoughts from surfacing so that I actually can do so. If I have a minor money problem that I need to sort out or a small difficulty with the groceries, a friend, or my son, I need to STOP thought production and turn aside from the matter. I need to start working on producing JOY in my head to block the worries from entry.

If I let my thinking mind ramble on and on, it will turn trivial maters into giant problems that prevent my sleep all night through. If I turn away and try to ignore the thoughts, they will batter on and on and I will still not get my sleep. If I focus on JOY, it can be the stronger presence in my mind. I still may lay awake for some time, but I will get my rest whilst doing so. Instead of tiring my self out even further by worrying and fretting, I will have filled myself with positives and left myself unharmed by leaving the minor problems minor.

Another help from JOY is that it stops my thinking mind from thinking. This keeps my knowing mind as the leader. If I know rather than think, then solutions often surface naturally.

"I try to view worries and concerns as a heavy mist that tries to dampen my day.
They have no true purpose in life, so I simply blow them away."

Cultivating joy 1

"I try to view worries and concerns as a heavy mist that tries to dampen my day.
They have no true purpose in life, so I simply blow them away."

This works on two levels for me, although I still need much practice before I achieve what I believe rather than simply see what I should do.

Firstly, if a major problem hits my life with a loud THUD, I used to go into shock, then get angry at the injustice, blame the origin of the problem on a physical 'other' origin, and tremble and sweat in fear until I slept and wept my way into dealing with the results and suitable action surfaced into my mind. After studying Buddhism, I now have a new way to deal with these major league hits from life.

Now, when a major problem arrives, I can stay stable and look it in the face. I do not need to enter the shock zone to stay clear minded, fly into fury at what my own karma has resulted in giving back to me as a new lesson, spend time cursing and hating the surfacing point of my own problem, or in physical inability and despair. I can see that these hassles have to be lived through and dealt with, and that doing so calmly does so with greater efficiency.

I am currently learning not to 'freak out' but to remain understanding in these situations. I am 'getting there'!! I also need to cultivate JOY in order to remind myself that they come as lessons to be learned, rather than as a personal attack, something aimed at destroying my ability to live. Without the continual regrowth and recognition of JOY, these can easily be seen as major problems rather than karmic lessons, and therefore be treated with the wrong attitude.

Everyday Buddhism: the grocery store

If one concentrates on decreasing or removing craving and grasping, one can learn not to buy ones groceries based on pleasant flavor, delicious tastes, and the 'yummy' factor, but rather to make purchases based on nutrition and health. Removing the 'I want' and replacing it with the 'my body needs' can help you pass by the chocolate bars and head for the right ingredients for a proper diet.

This is turn improves both the physical health of your body and your Buddhist practice. You eat better foods because you have bought better foods and you took a small step to work towards overcoming some major faults. Your health improves and so does your progress.

A second factor that can be taken into account is the produce itself. Often, items can be selected that are more in agreement with Buddhist principles than alternatives. For example, selecting an organic fair-trade coffee brand as opposed to whichever brand is currently on special or selecting an organic Indian herbal tea blend rather than choosing a regular tea that may be made in a country that is anti-Buddhist. Being able to make a small difference in the world just by changing your shopping habits is a simple step that can help people to LIVE their Buddhist principles in their life, rather than keep them locked in the head.

The importance of taking vows

Whilst I can accept that vows are not necessary for everyone in all circumstances and at every stage of development, I am beginning to understand the importance of establishing a commitment in a structured form. Whilst different Buddhists taking different paths, teachings, and lifestyles will take different vows, the choice to take some form of obligation would seem to be wise.

Without stating precisely which vows I have personally taken, I will say that I have made a 'general vow' as a directive towards gradually taking on various standard vows rather than taking on a whole bunch at the start. This means that as I grow along my Buddhist pathway, I incorporate more of the vows from one of my 2 chosen lineages as I progress, rather than adopting them all as an initial vow. My vow is to gradually take them all on, but feeling unable to handle them all in one go, I prefer to 'increase my commitments as I travel onward'.

Recently, I read and contemplated a specific vow that I chose to take on. The intention to do so being enough to establish my commitment to it, after the initial vow of 'taking on more undertakings as I go'. When the relevant occasion next occurred that would previously have been a '50-50' on whether I took the right action or not, having taken on that vow meant that it became a '75-25' and that the right action was taken. Having made the commitment, I felt obliged to take the correct course when deciding whether to or not, rather than allowing the moment itself to guide me.

Arhantcy v Bodhisattvahood

Without a specific lineage to follow, many Western practitioners have to make their own choice based on the factor of which aspects they develop first. There is no expected convention leading one to either path, but one has to establish which path one will take individually. In countries where Buddhism is the established religion, one generally takes the choice of the country.

If the path toward becoming an Arhat is to see emptiness directly, and then to climb into this experience and develop it by gradually shedding the 'I want's, 'I don’t want's and multiple 'me-mind' made kilesas, it would seem a far easier path than that of the Bodhisattva. The latter needing to not only do the above, but additionally aim to live continuously among troubled beings, retain an enormous quantity of specific vows, and to develop much stronger levels of karuna and metta.

The key seems to be the amount of compassion one obtains. Once one establishes a certain degree of compassion, one is surrounded by the desire to use this in order to help all beings. It is not a me-mind created desire, but a naturally arising desire that becomes evident as layers of me-mindedness are shed in the presence of compassion. This seems to be why several lineages emphasize the importance of growing compassion as an initial step.

At a certain point of development, the compassion is experienced not as a wish to have it, but as an actuality. At this point, when it naturally arises rather than is wished for and created, the path of the Bodhisattva becomes the preferred option. However, if other factors are worked with and compassion is only considered lightly, the path of the Arhat may become the stronger choice. For example, if one focuses on aspects such as ridding the mind of kilesas or seeking enlightenment, these factors can grow towards a personal saving without leading to sufficient amounts of compassion to establish the desire to assist others to also take the path to freedom.

Compassion - do I have enough? 4

Currently, I am trying to demonstrate to my neighbor that the pigeons are living beings to be respected. I am doing this by treating them with respect myself and hoping that she spots my back yard activity. I have been waiting for them to finish a bath on our doorstep before going past, smiling at them and greeting them with a welcome message as they fly down, standing at my windows as they feed to show that I care about them. I am hoping that my neighbor will soften her heart and learn to see these birds as individual beings rather than a mass pestilence.

As I read about the affects of karma, I worry that if this does not happen, our neighbor may return as a bird that can find no peace herself one day. I can see how once I would have reacted the same way, if I had viewed the birds to be a 'problem' rather than 'living beings' though. It makes me see how much Buddhism has taught me and how much others have yet to learn.

However, I also see that I too must learn far more - because I can not currently use my understanding and experience in such a way to solve the problem. Whilst I can now see the problem as it is, along with some of the possible affects that might run on from matters, the compassion that I do already have leads me to want to rescue my neighbor from the possible karmic outcome. I feel somewhat stranded at this point, and unable to progress into actually doing anything useful about the situation to help either the pigeons or my neighbor.

Whilst I DO truly want both neighbor and pigeons to be contented, I can as yet find no solution from this. Maybe I have not enough compassion to see the answer, or perhaps I merely have to be patient for a solution to surface. I seem to be at the stage of seeing a situation from all viewpoints, but am not yet accomplished enough to know how to act on this information.

Compassion - do I have enough? 3

Instead of furiously growling at my neighbor, I can see the reason for her action, and fully understand the reason for her behavior. I can also see that until recently, she too enjoyed feeding some species of birds in our yards. I can see that she does not view the pigeons as equal beings to herself, but as pestlike nuisances. This leads me to be able to feel compassion for both the disturbed pigeons and my unaware neighbor.

My own understanding of the situation prevents me from making things worse, but I wonder if I have enough compassion. If I did, surely I would also know how to make things better, too?

I would LIKE there to be peace for us all, both for my neighbor and the pigeons. Creating harmony between the different aspects of one's life is not my problem alone. Many people come across various areas of their life that do not mix well with others. For example, the son and the friend may disagree, or the pet cat and the MIL… Many people seem to have a similar problem, to some degree.

Compassion - do I have enough? 2

Recently for example, our neighbor has become annoyed by the pigeons that we feed pooping on her property. She is concerned that she will get bird flu or a disease, after not minding them for several years. They like to use her windowsills and rooftop to preen on before and after their meals somedays, when not wanting to use our lawn. Her reaction is now to rattle an empty tub at the birds, trying to scare them away. A few years ago, I would have fired up in anger and have considered her a very evil and cruel person for doing this, but now I can view the situation differently.

Instead of reacting with anger and retaliation, I now become sad. Whilst I can see that my neighbor does not enjoy these pigeons pooping on her windowsills and dropping the odd feather on her property, I can also see that the pigeons want to eat, preen and rest in peace. I have learned to see things from both their view and my neighbor's, as well as my own.

Whilst this may not assist the situation itself, it prevents my growing angry from it and leaves me with better ability to attempt to sort things out so that both pigeons and neighbor can live in peace.

Compassion - do I have enough? 1

Recently, due to personal considerations, studying course 4 of the ACI Buddhism courses, and reading the books that I have read, I have been considering whether or not I have enough compassion.

Being a student of Buddhism and living in the Western world, I have a multitude of online and literature based possibilities for study, but no 'specific' local cultural lineage. Whilst this provides me with multiple opportunities to 'pick and choose' which branches of Buddhism I wish to pursue, it limits me in regard to having a firm basis for continued study. I relate well to BOTH Tibetan and Thai Buddhist teachings - from two very different paths. Whilst being blessed with the ability to learn from both, I realize that if I take too much input from the Thai Dhutanga studies, my Tibetan Vajrayana followings will not progress as they should. For the latter, I need to develop my compassion. This is a major key.

I have no difficulty with wishing to develop my compassion, and looking at myself now as opposed to three or four years ago, I can see that I have advanced considerably. I am currently able to view certain situations in completely new ways, for example. However, I still feel that I need to work on this.

Doing SOMETHING 2

On a bad day, when my good intentions lead to failure, there are always a few good things that I must have done. I may climb out of bed intending to fill my day with positive activities, smile at everyone I meet, work hard and get a lot done, and not grumble or frown all day - but as I climb back into my bed at the close of the day, it is not often that I have achieved my goal.

This could be somewhat alarming at times, if you think through all the missed opportunities, mistakes, and things you could and should have done, but did not. It can be especially downheartening if you have been pondering your karma, and realized just how much bad karma you make each day through being lazy, careless, or thoughtless. Yet, each day I can find a few things that I have done on the positive side.

Maybe I failed to smile at the checkout assistant in the grocery store, got irritated by the loud noises from next door whilst trying to read, and cooked a mess instead of a meal - but I rescued a spider before my son showered, did not tread on the snail on the path, and gave food to a few dozen pigeons. Every day you can do SOMETHING good, even on those bad days. The spider and snail, and all those pigeons are just as alive and struggling as me. I may have ruined my own life that day, but I helped theirs. This helps keep me enthusiastic and positive.

Doing SOMETHING 1

I recently read the book 'After the Ecstasy, the Laundry' by Jack Kornfield - again. Whilst it is not my favorite Buddhist book, I do enjoy some of the stories within it. One of my favorites is on page 273. It is a single paragraph with a valid point. The story talks of a man who saves dying starfish, one by one, flinging them back into the ocean from the sands of a beach. Whilst there are so many starfish and it might otherwise seem pointless, he explains the fact that each saved starfish does not regard his action as pointless.

This is similar to my own findings when I first began to take steps to become a vegetarian. After forty years of eating what I thought was tasty or healthy, I had to overcome my taste-cravings, and take 3-4 steps to arrive. But I made it, so that nowadays I do not buy, cook, or consume meat, fish or eggs - unless I am given some, as a gift. The first step was to say no more sausages, pepperoni, steaks, or lamb roasts. This was not too difficult, and I had myself down to eating seafood an chicken only, in a single step. I made the decisions and then took it up. The next step was that I would only eat a PIECE of chicken or fish, and not a whole being or lots of beings. This is where I began to get into difficulty and had to contemplate rather than just decide.

A plate of shrimp for example, is numerous lives lost for just one meal in my belly. Shrimp tastes good, is easy to use in many meals, and is healthy. So I had to go over the fact that I was saving multiple lives by not eating it. By eating one piece of a tuna fish and passing on the shrimp, I was saving hundreds of lives each year. Now, I am at the stage where I do not take a piece of a life for my own feasting, but this was a stage I had t pass through on my way.

So each day I encounter when I think that I have done nothing good, positive, or right, I can still regard as a good day in one small way - I did not eat a plateful of lives! Those shrimps that I did not eat can go on living happily in the ocean, even if it is only one plateful from amongst millions…

The Buddha's Birthday in Wollongong

Different Buddhist groups celebrate this event on different dates. Living in the Western world, one can either follow a set lineage and share their preferred option, or select a date suited to ones lifestyle on which to celebrate. Celebrations here vary between Buddhist lineages, allowing one to participate in various activities. The majority of Buddhists in the Western world appear to celebrate on the full moon day of May, but others will select alternate dates.

Personally, I choose to spend some time in reflection on the full moon day of May and to also partial-fast the day before and fully-feast on the day itself - in recognition of the gain of the event and previous lackage. However, as I do not have a specific local temple with which to celebrate, if I can find any local activities concerning the event of the Buddha's birthday, I will also attend these. This year, the event was celebrated in the local mall on May 23 by the Nan Tien Temple, so I was able to walk down the street and support the event. I might not have discovered the event at all, had I not taken an excursion the previous day, and, on my return, discovered decorations being hung up in the mall, a trio of nuns standing about, and a giant Buddha figure on the stage. Sometimes the event is only held in Sydney, making it expensive and difficult for me to attend. When it is held locally, I like to support fellow Buddhists of the local community, even if I do not follow their precise lineage.

I was pleased to find a stall selling Buddhist literature among the many that occupied the mall. Two years ago, when the event was celebrated in the park across the street from our home, I had not had enough money to buy a book, but this year, I had some money left over from my birthday gifts and was able to select one. Whilst I do not directly follow the teachings of the Buddhist group that hosted the event, I do like to read literature and teachings from as wide a range of Buddhist sources as possible.

I arrived in time to catch the initial Lion Dance, and follow the Bathing the Buddha ceremony, along with the multicultural prayers, Abbess's speech, and a vocal performance. Having friends and family from multiple faiths, this multicultural aspect is important to me. I then hopped back home to feed my pigeons, before returning to munch a snack (I had already eaten my daily meal before attending) and observe the second Lion Dance performance.

I stayed to view the multi-cultural performances, which included a local classical school band, Indian dancing, a keyboardist who played ambient melodies, and the temple choir. Whilst there remained a couple more activities after a short break, I do not keep conventional hours, and having been awake since 1am, decided to return home to read before my bedtime.

Equanimity and equality 2

Each day, I should say to myself: "every becoming that I encounter I should treat as my EQUAL." No favor/disfavor, no like/dislike. (I should also check to see that I actually do so.)

Sometimes, a day at home produces more problems with this than a day out in the city encountering numerous becomings. Birds, bugs, bird-hating neighbors, passers by, and grumpy sons coming at me at inconvenient times are just as difficult as a crowd of strangers that I can walk right past.

It may seem strange, at first, to consider everything alive as equal - because nothing LOOKS like anything else. THOUGHT and SPEECH are also entirely different between a hungry dove, nest-building ant, courting pigeon, and money-demanding human, for example. But if you consider our RIGHTS, INNER CORE, and POTENTIAL, instead of the body, lifestyle and mind, it becomes easier.

Equanimity and equality 1

One of the methods for practicing equanimity, in relation to regarding all beings equally with the same state of mind, is progression. Firstly, you concentrate on loving those you love - family members, close friends, a pet, etc. next, you spread this outward and begin to work on keeping the same level of compassion and kindness in you for a wider circle - perhaps including the aunts, uncles and cousins along with parents and siblings, or birds in the yard as well as your pets, for example. Eventually, you can expand to cover all living beings with the same attitude level.

One expansion tool that I have found useful, is to think about where we go after death. This has helped me to include many bugs that formerly I would have screamed and sprayed, rather than accepted and cared about. Having lost my grandparents in my youth, and a mother, aunt, several friends, and many pets since, I can work with this personally. Where have they all gone?

I do believe in rebirth, that they have gone somewhere in a new form or body. Believing this, how can I be sure that the cockroach scuttling across the windowsill in the middle of the night is not my mother or aunt? How can I be sure that the fly that pesters me as I try to study is not the 'now' of one of my pets that have passed on? I cannot prove that the spider webbing above my pillow is not the rebirth of my mother or my aunt…

This helps me to accept the bugs that crawl into my home and life, rather than destroy them and consider them as 'nasty little creepy crawlies'. Once you can accept, you can observe, learn, and love.

Right livelihood 2

Obviously, some decision had to be made and some steps taken to improve the situation. Could I return to the pleasant days of writing books, blogs, and articles, but manage to make enough income from them somehow - or did I have to find a new source of income, to replace the commercial company work?

If I had successful marketing skills, I would have already sold thousands of copies of the books I have already written. I have a website, newsletter, bulletin boards at community websites, a local library - but people simply do not buy enough of my books to allow me to eat, let alone live in a house and have enough electricity for a computer.

Likewise, my blogs and articles earn me weekly cents rather than the necessary rent-paying dollars. I enjoy writing blogs, but this does not make me rich; it just buys me a cup of coffee once or twice a month. It is possible that I could do something with my article writing, however, and that is the step I have decided to work with.

Whilst easing my way out of writing 'rubbish' for commercial companies, I am planning to market my article writing services. I cannot say 'no more' and rely entirely on my new plans, but I can say 'less' until such time as I can do so. Rather than just writing for online websites and earning an ongoing few dollars each week, I am going to start writing articles targeted to magazines. Additionally, I shall contact local businesses that I approve of, to offer copywriting services. In this way, the content and topics I write about will be in my own hands, once more and I shall be back on track with the 'right livelihood' aspect of my practice.

Right livelihood 1

I have recently been considering certain changes that I need to make in my writing career. I enjoy writing, of that there is no doubt. I would still write, even if I did not do it to earn money. I always have written, since I first learned how. But, the content I write is not always considerable as 'right' livelihood.

At first, I wrote books. These were my own creations and I could write them in any style or format that I chose. Then I wrote articles. These too were under my own control at first. I would write on topics that I knew about, or ones that interested me after researching them. Then I began to write a few blogs. Once more, the content was under my control and dealt with subjects I held an interest in. However, none of this made enough money to pay the bills, let alone my rent.

In order to earn money, I had to write articles, reviews, and text for writing companies that guaranteed a payment for doing such. This is when my writing work turned sour. I was able to write the material required, but it was no longer my decision what was being written. Some of the topics I had to produce work on were definitely failing to make the 'right livelihood' grade. I began to feel bad about my writing career.

EMPTINESS

I have found there to be different levels of emptiness, that various Buddhist texts speak of. Unless you have personally explored, contemplated and experienced results, it is difficult to say which of these views of emptiness are correct and which are similar or partial.

It is also considered a topic that should not be discussed in certain places with certain people, whether or not one has had some or much actual realization of it. Also, some groups believe it wrong to talk of your level of understanding/experience outside of the teacher-student relationship. Therefore, for the sake of contemplation/meditation purposes, I will address only the levels that I have read about in text - without expressing my personal findings, opinions, or experience.

The first level is that of worldly life being empty of purpose and value. This is more in tune with renunciation than emptiness, in that it leads one to discover the lack of reason in everyday lifestyle and necessitates the searching for something 'more', or in this case, something that is not empty.

The second level of emptiness refers to the emptiness of +oneself. It is when one discovers that there is no 'self', no 'I'. Some people are led to the wrong view that this negates ones existence entirely, whilst others may gather entry into deeper levels of understanding when disrobed from the veil of ego. It can be either painful or exhilarating to experience this type of emptiness.

The third level of emptiness deals with the mental functions. It is very similar to the second level, in that it is a challenging of the values of 'self' that brings it about. It stems more from an investigation of the internal mental functions than from the search for a personal self, however. One looks at the levels of function within the 'mind' and discovers that some are naturally arisen and some are created by 'mind-tools' such as emotions and uncontrolled thought. To locate this type of emptiness, you have to distinguish between the creations of your mind tools and that which naturally arises, recognizing the former as empty of reality and continuity, and the latter as uncreated and enduring.

KILLING

Birds are innocent - they do not know that it is wrong to kill, so those that do so are natural yet ignorant. They simply need to eat, and some of their species eat meat.

Humans should behave better, as we are aware that killing is wrong and have the choice of whether we eat meat or become vegetation. Some animals eat plants and some do not. It is the same with us humans - we are acting more akin to our animal friends than to the divine that does not eat killed food.

Whilst animals and birds kill in ignorant need, humans kill either in ignorance or for pleasure. Surely, we should learn that we have the choice, and so should take the right option? Most of us agree that killing is wrong - some of us even try to refrain from killing - but as a whole, are we any better than those ignorant animals that kill to feast without thought, at the current time?

My own path to vegetarianism took a long time to commence, and around a year to complete. For over forty years, I ate meat. It was what humans ate and considered a regular part of the diet. I originally thought vegetarians were silly to cut out a food supply that offered variety.

Then I watched a dove walk gently across the lawn. I saw his light toes bend the grass below so softly. And I could never again buy and eat an egg. This led me to stop eating meat, then little fishes, then all that was killed to provide food for humans. As Buddhism and nature taught me to break free of ignorance and center my attitude on compassion, I learned not to kill inwardly. If I had just outwardly not wanted to, it would not have lasted.

VOWS

Whether or not a Buddhist decides to take vows is up to the individual. The majority of everyday laymen take 5 simple vows, but this is not a necessity. One can choose simply to follow the eightfold path, which covers the main importances of living life correctly as a Buddhist. On a retreat or when becoming a committed practitioner in the form of a monk, nun, or Boddhisattva, one encounters another bunch of expected vows.

I have not 'formerly' taken any vows during this current lifetime, although I have made several major and numerous minor changes in my lifestyle and attitude, and one extremely large decision and commitment, since deciding to follow Buddhism. I am aware that in some of my former lives I have followed a Buddhist path, and have at such times made commitments of some description. I am interested in discovering what exactly I have previously been committed to, so have been reading the various vows for the various Buddhist commitments.

I was recently reading through the collection of vows that one should keep if one is to become a Bodhisattva. There are 147 of these, which seems to be rather a lot to manage to keep in a single life. I have also recently read 'The Book' by Geshe Michael Roach, which lists these and some of the other vows, and also offers a time consuming way of covering them all. Whilst respecting that beyond laymanship lies additional commitments, I would personally see more sense in following the eightfold path on a continual basis, with daily and weekly time spent in reflection on and attention to any further commitments. (This would save a lot of paper from the idea of writing things down, several times a day!)

Bodies

Once again entering the territory of topics and teachings that should not be discussed in their completeness within a general audience, I have recently been investigating such territory. This time, I have been exploring the generating of dream bodies, in relation to their assistance to living as a Buddhist practitioner.

Whereas many who practice Buddhism in the Western world may be satisfied to simply attempt to follow the eightfold path to the best of their ability, I have always been led toward the deeper teachings, hidden ground, and borderline areas. For some reason, I seem to find these places easier to understand than the everyday level teachings. I assume that I have made progress within these areas in former lives.

The purpose of my recent investigations is that I have a problem with helping humanity. I find it much easier to assist birds and bugs, but there seems to be a blockage when it comes to helping my fellow humans. As the state of the planet reveals, it is the human population that appears to need the most assistance. I simply felt helpless and unable to do anything on the regular level, and so I have been investigating other levels of Buddhism.

I shall not go into full detail, but will say that I am finding new ways in which to regain my hope for the future of THIS world, after observing the planet and wondering if anyone will ever fix it 'in time' - and if it is 'too late' to bother trying to help out.

EXPLORING KARMA 2

I have been reading a lot of text about dreams and dreaming lately. These stem from Buddhist, Hindu and Western knowledge on the subject. Naturally, I have also been contemplating dreams and dreaming from my own viewpoint.

I understand how prophetic dreams can occur. A Buddha can see the totality of karmic workings in all beings, not only some of his own, but 'we' cannot totally see even our own, even if we can see sometime see glimpses of karmic workings.

However, inside our 'deepest places' lies our very own book of karma - being written and reviewed every few moments of our life - as we do a deed, say a word, think a thought - and we can partially read these karmic workings in relation to our own lives through our dreaming.

It is as if we can read tiny portions of what we have done to ourselves - or will do to ourselves - karmically. A way to learn in advance and maybe not do what we should not do, or to see why something that lays ahead will happen to us - not just that it will.

(I have written a complete article on this subject, for anybody who is interested, you can view the article at: https://www.triond.com/users/madeliaette )

EXPLORING KARMA 1

There is so much to fix, but each fixed thing is one less bit on the bad karma score sheet. So on a bad day, you still need to try and do a few good things in order to stop the sheet from filling up with only bad marks. Even if its is just one or two right moves amongst an everything goes wrong day, it helps in the end.

One or two ticks on a sheet of crosses can offer a little hope, if not as much as the reverse. Nobody can be perfect straight away! And we cannot have all our days where we are more perfect than not, even if some may flow that way for us.

If you always try to do the right things, your intentions will be right at least, if not your actions. One part of a wrong being right is also a helpful way not to give up in despair on a low-success day.

One thing less wrong…is one thing not to suffer for in the future - ONE lesson already learned….

REVIEW: The Tibetan Book of the Dead - WY Evans-Wentz version

I have now read the book 2-3 times through. I do not approve of Jung's 'psycho commentary' at all! He has a bad attitude to Yoga in general, especially styles that I have much respect for, if not personally practicing.

I much prefer the Lama Gavinda's foreword. “bring sub conc into conc” are wonderful words.
(It is what I was doing for decades...)
Listening, reflecting, meditating... to me is reading into the unconc, regurgitating into conc, and settling into sub conc...

As the deities are specific to one lineage of Buddhism, and based upon symbolics, it would be wiser to recognize the symbolism than the precise identities. For example - clear light followed by brightly shining good gods followed by wrathful aspects of goodness, rather than specific characters. (As I started out my life a non-Buddhist, and follow 2 separate schools of teaching, that seems to be the best bet, for me personally.)

Therefore - firstly to aim at recognition and retention of pure clear light, secondly to aim at positive, bright, good, rightnesses as opposed to easy-lazy, dull, badnesses, and finally to look out for the goodness within the seemingly bad.

METTA, KARUNA, AHIMSA. 3

Retaining such an attitude towards my enemy is difficult, but I must learn not to allow my rejection of their deeds to influence my attitude toward them. I must prevent the rejection turning personal, as it may lead to hatred. I have managed to prevent gross hatred, but the subtle still lingers, it seems. Recognizing my problem, I am at least able to try to solve it, if not successful as yet.

I find it hard not to deeply despise the deeds and their intentions, though I find it possible to forgive the causer, currently. This could so easily turn to a full hatred, and I do not want that to occur. I simply find it easier to turn away from those who do evil and try to focus on those I can help, such as the birds that visit my yard and the bugs that enter my home.

At the current time, I am trying to focus on recalling the fact that their attacks must be the result of my own karma. This takes the focus away from the wrongnesses done and the wrongdoers, and puts it into acceptance mode rather than total antagonism. It may not solve the arising problems, but it solves my attitude and prevents my turning bad within.

METTA, KARUNA, AHIMSA. 2.

As an example, I can desire that the unaware become aware, and can become an example to them for this purpose. If I stick out like a sore thumb, people will notice the difference, and possibly investigate my ways - and observe that I do not live the same old 'everybody does it this way' lifestyle. However, when it comes to humans that intend to be evil, I find it very difficult to hold my intention and ground.

I cannot yet prevent purposeful attacks from harming me. Sometimes, they damage my inner body, and the poison goes outward, giving me a sinus fever or constipation. I can see from where these stem, but not yet prevent their occurring. At other times, their attack turns inward and provides distortion on my middle mental level. This means that I retain my correct knowledge and activity, but the middle levels that join the two disconnect.

I need to focus on:
1. Cleansing of inner body energy to prevent the spread of poison.
2. Prevention of physical transfer.
3. Prevention of inner distortion and disconnection.
4. The Buddha knew that he could not help Devadatta - yet held no hatred for him. I need to retain this attitude with my own harmers, rather than allowing m rejection of their poison turn me from my purpose.

METTA, KARUNA, AHIMSA. 1

One of my recent practices has been to attempt to regenerate these three traits, due to recognizing that I was losing hold of my progress concerning them. I find it easier to grow these attributes when it concerns birdlife and bugs, than I do when in contact with humans. Whereas I remain harmless intentionally, and generally get upset if I accidentally flush a cockroach or cricket to their death if careless when washing up, I sometimes get careless in my attitude toward ants and humans.

I like to spend a little time just watching the birds in my yard. This tends to help me relax and regenerate my progress. If I observe the way a dove or pigeon softly bends the grass beneath their tiny toes as they walk across the lawn, it reinforces my rejection of eating poultry or eggs, and it floods my heart with the positive traits that I might otherwise lose grasp of. When dealing with humanity, I find it hard to retain my levels of metta at times - with the heartless demands, unaware expectations, and legal rigmarole - all so unnatural.

On page 92 of the Acariya Mun biography I found a paragraph to help me. "Much like rain, falling evenly over hills and valleys alike."

I should attempt to use this attitude to retain my equanimity, perhaps. I need to learn to retain purity and strength, rather than let the superficial and artificial distort me into making preferences.

So much to learn… 3

Returning to a topic after a break indulged within another subject, I may not be starting from kindergarten - but I definitely have lost the high school knowledge and experiences I had previously gained. Maybe I am now in class one or two…?

With so many areas to explore, I am wondering if I should fixate on one specific topic and master it completely, or if I should stick to the slow plod of gradually learning everything and retaining a little, and step by step improving the amount I preserve.

Should I only study karma, or emptiness, nirvana, omniscience, meditation, the four noble truths, or Buddha's lifestyle? Or should I study a little bit of everything?

It is hard not to study everything, as I generally only have 2-3 books on any given topic. I would need to buy a lot of books to study only one subject at a time. I also take online courses, participate in discussion groups, and live a life. All these separate areas would need to focus on the singular subject to perfect it and retain the gain. This would not be very easy. Yet to almost perfect a topic only to drop back to beginner level understanding is also difficult.

So much to learn… 2

I admit that looking back across the past 2-3 years since I first began to read on Buddhist theory, philosophy, and practice, I have progressed in my life practice. It is just that when I am in 'read-contemplate-know', I accomplish so much more ground covering than I do with actually living it out.

For example, karma. When I first began to talk to a friend and read books concerning Buddhism, the subject of karma cropped up. Originally, I had no awareness of karma whatsoever. It was simply a new age word with little personal acceptance or meaning.

As I read about the subject, it automatically fell into place. I assume I had already learned in a former life and was just refreshing my memory. I was able to comprehend some of the basic workings of karma, accept that certain situations arose due to it, and even follow it in a few areas of my life, where 'quick karma' occurred and I experienced the result almost immediately.

Despite this awareness and understanding, once learning a different subject had lost my focus from karma, I began to lose hold of it. Wrapped in citta levels, multi-lifes, and the four noble truths, karma slipped away from me and I was unable to continue to witness it within my life, though still retaining a firm belief.

So much to learn… 1

One of the difficulties with practicing Buddhism is that there are so many different things to learn. It is not so much the amount as the variables that cause the difficulty. I have no problem with sitting down and reading for several hours, and then contemplating what I have read for several more prior to putting m findings into poetic word and/or action; however, it becomes very difficult when there are so many different avenues to explore.

Just when I feel that I have understood and experienced as much as I am currently able to on one line, I investigate a second and the first fades. With so many different things to consider, I wonder if I will ever manage to hold ground and learn anything without the need to constantly relearn it all over again.

For an example, one day I might have read about the subject of emptiness, then spent a few hours thinking it through internally, slept on it, meditated on it, and have received some understanding and experience. A week later, I am reading about Nirvana, the four noble truths, the Buddha's lifestyle, or some other topic. I will then be investigating this subject, and the previous one will have vanished from comprehension.