EXPLORING KARMA 1

There is so much to fix, but each fixed thing is one less bit on the bad karma score sheet. So on a bad day, you still need to try and do a few good things in order to stop the sheet from filling up with only bad marks. Even if its is just one or two right moves amongst an everything goes wrong day, it helps in the end.

One or two ticks on a sheet of crosses can offer a little hope, if not as much as the reverse. Nobody can be perfect straight away! And we cannot have all our days where we are more perfect than not, even if some may flow that way for us.

If you always try to do the right things, your intentions will be right at least, if not your actions. One part of a wrong being right is also a helpful way not to give up in despair on a low-success day.

One thing less wrong…is one thing not to suffer for in the future - ONE lesson already learned….

REVIEW: The Tibetan Book of the Dead - WY Evans-Wentz version

I have now read the book 2-3 times through. I do not approve of Jung's 'psycho commentary' at all! He has a bad attitude to Yoga in general, especially styles that I have much respect for, if not personally practicing.

I much prefer the Lama Gavinda's foreword. “bring sub conc into conc” are wonderful words.
(It is what I was doing for decades...)
Listening, reflecting, meditating... to me is reading into the unconc, regurgitating into conc, and settling into sub conc...

As the deities are specific to one lineage of Buddhism, and based upon symbolics, it would be wiser to recognize the symbolism than the precise identities. For example - clear light followed by brightly shining good gods followed by wrathful aspects of goodness, rather than specific characters. (As I started out my life a non-Buddhist, and follow 2 separate schools of teaching, that seems to be the best bet, for me personally.)

Therefore - firstly to aim at recognition and retention of pure clear light, secondly to aim at positive, bright, good, rightnesses as opposed to easy-lazy, dull, badnesses, and finally to look out for the goodness within the seemingly bad.

METTA, KARUNA, AHIMSA. 3

Retaining such an attitude towards my enemy is difficult, but I must learn not to allow my rejection of their deeds to influence my attitude toward them. I must prevent the rejection turning personal, as it may lead to hatred. I have managed to prevent gross hatred, but the subtle still lingers, it seems. Recognizing my problem, I am at least able to try to solve it, if not successful as yet.

I find it hard not to deeply despise the deeds and their intentions, though I find it possible to forgive the causer, currently. This could so easily turn to a full hatred, and I do not want that to occur. I simply find it easier to turn away from those who do evil and try to focus on those I can help, such as the birds that visit my yard and the bugs that enter my home.

At the current time, I am trying to focus on recalling the fact that their attacks must be the result of my own karma. This takes the focus away from the wrongnesses done and the wrongdoers, and puts it into acceptance mode rather than total antagonism. It may not solve the arising problems, but it solves my attitude and prevents my turning bad within.

METTA, KARUNA, AHIMSA. 2.

As an example, I can desire that the unaware become aware, and can become an example to them for this purpose. If I stick out like a sore thumb, people will notice the difference, and possibly investigate my ways - and observe that I do not live the same old 'everybody does it this way' lifestyle. However, when it comes to humans that intend to be evil, I find it very difficult to hold my intention and ground.

I cannot yet prevent purposeful attacks from harming me. Sometimes, they damage my inner body, and the poison goes outward, giving me a sinus fever or constipation. I can see from where these stem, but not yet prevent their occurring. At other times, their attack turns inward and provides distortion on my middle mental level. This means that I retain my correct knowledge and activity, but the middle levels that join the two disconnect.

I need to focus on:
1. Cleansing of inner body energy to prevent the spread of poison.
2. Prevention of physical transfer.
3. Prevention of inner distortion and disconnection.
4. The Buddha knew that he could not help Devadatta - yet held no hatred for him. I need to retain this attitude with my own harmers, rather than allowing m rejection of their poison turn me from my purpose.

METTA, KARUNA, AHIMSA. 1

One of my recent practices has been to attempt to regenerate these three traits, due to recognizing that I was losing hold of my progress concerning them. I find it easier to grow these attributes when it concerns birdlife and bugs, than I do when in contact with humans. Whereas I remain harmless intentionally, and generally get upset if I accidentally flush a cockroach or cricket to their death if careless when washing up, I sometimes get careless in my attitude toward ants and humans.

I like to spend a little time just watching the birds in my yard. This tends to help me relax and regenerate my progress. If I observe the way a dove or pigeon softly bends the grass beneath their tiny toes as they walk across the lawn, it reinforces my rejection of eating poultry or eggs, and it floods my heart with the positive traits that I might otherwise lose grasp of. When dealing with humanity, I find it hard to retain my levels of metta at times - with the heartless demands, unaware expectations, and legal rigmarole - all so unnatural.

On page 92 of the Acariya Mun biography I found a paragraph to help me. "Much like rain, falling evenly over hills and valleys alike."

I should attempt to use this attitude to retain my equanimity, perhaps. I need to learn to retain purity and strength, rather than let the superficial and artificial distort me into making preferences.

So much to learn… 3

Returning to a topic after a break indulged within another subject, I may not be starting from kindergarten - but I definitely have lost the high school knowledge and experiences I had previously gained. Maybe I am now in class one or two…?

With so many areas to explore, I am wondering if I should fixate on one specific topic and master it completely, or if I should stick to the slow plod of gradually learning everything and retaining a little, and step by step improving the amount I preserve.

Should I only study karma, or emptiness, nirvana, omniscience, meditation, the four noble truths, or Buddha's lifestyle? Or should I study a little bit of everything?

It is hard not to study everything, as I generally only have 2-3 books on any given topic. I would need to buy a lot of books to study only one subject at a time. I also take online courses, participate in discussion groups, and live a life. All these separate areas would need to focus on the singular subject to perfect it and retain the gain. This would not be very easy. Yet to almost perfect a topic only to drop back to beginner level understanding is also difficult.

So much to learn… 2

I admit that looking back across the past 2-3 years since I first began to read on Buddhist theory, philosophy, and practice, I have progressed in my life practice. It is just that when I am in 'read-contemplate-know', I accomplish so much more ground covering than I do with actually living it out.

For example, karma. When I first began to talk to a friend and read books concerning Buddhism, the subject of karma cropped up. Originally, I had no awareness of karma whatsoever. It was simply a new age word with little personal acceptance or meaning.

As I read about the subject, it automatically fell into place. I assume I had already learned in a former life and was just refreshing my memory. I was able to comprehend some of the basic workings of karma, accept that certain situations arose due to it, and even follow it in a few areas of my life, where 'quick karma' occurred and I experienced the result almost immediately.

Despite this awareness and understanding, once learning a different subject had lost my focus from karma, I began to lose hold of it. Wrapped in citta levels, multi-lifes, and the four noble truths, karma slipped away from me and I was unable to continue to witness it within my life, though still retaining a firm belief.

So much to learn… 1

One of the difficulties with practicing Buddhism is that there are so many different things to learn. It is not so much the amount as the variables that cause the difficulty. I have no problem with sitting down and reading for several hours, and then contemplating what I have read for several more prior to putting m findings into poetic word and/or action; however, it becomes very difficult when there are so many different avenues to explore.

Just when I feel that I have understood and experienced as much as I am currently able to on one line, I investigate a second and the first fades. With so many different things to consider, I wonder if I will ever manage to hold ground and learn anything without the need to constantly relearn it all over again.

For an example, one day I might have read about the subject of emptiness, then spent a few hours thinking it through internally, slept on it, meditated on it, and have received some understanding and experience. A week later, I am reading about Nirvana, the four noble truths, the Buddha's lifestyle, or some other topic. I will then be investigating this subject, and the previous one will have vanished from comprehension.

Sometimes… 2

I am only middle aged, not old as yet, but in my childhood there were families that did not have a single car, let alone one vehicle for every adult person. If you did not have enough money to buy something, you waited until you did, rather than using plastic money to create a debt. I remember when we upgraded from a black and white to a color TV it was a major league event. These days, people want wide screen, flat screen, digital, surround sound, etc…

I am sure I cannot be the only person in my city who does not own a car, microwave, washing machine, TV set, dishwasher, cell phone, iPod, etc, but am I the only one to be contented not to have these items? I am not camping in a house, I do have a fridge, gas stove, stereo, and computer, but I have chosen not to buy articles that I do not really need or want and to live simply and as naturally as a city person can.

My friends gave me the nickname 'nun in a house' because I choose to live without heating or cooling, and many other modern appliances. I step back and take a look at the rest of the community - rushing about in cars, speaking words that are supposed to be said, doing what society teaches is right to do, but - not questioning if they want to, should, or if there is an alternative.

It is no wonder that the majority of people fail to learn from nature - they do not see it. Heating and cooling controls the indoors and cars shield them from the outdoors. Nature is just a pleasant thing to observe on a weekend documentary - not reality. Yet have found that many of the lessons I have learned have come from nature. This is probably why I relate strongly to the Thai Dhutanga tradition, with emphasis on simplicity and naturalness.

Sometimes… 1

When you read a lot of Buddhist philosophy and teachings you are sure at some point to be led to contemplate humanity.

For a long time, I considered the animals and birds to be superior to my own kind - after all, they do no create plastic and metal junk and call it essential and co crazy-obsessive about owning as much of this rubbish as they can - they just live in peace without trying to re-shape nature into rubbish to become greedy about.

It took a while to convince me that humanity was superior. I still have my doubts, but am willing to accept that POTENTIALLY humankind is superior, if not ACTUALLY/CURRENTLY. I feel that somewhere humanity has gone down the wrong track and turned toward the incorrect direction.

I take a look around at my friends and family, at the local community, and at the world as a whole - and it sometimes scares me how people are living. The majority of things that the modern population considers to be a necessity are manmade rather than nature given, dangerous and pollutive to the environment, stealing the resources of the planet, and - basically, a waste of money and time.

REVIEW: Life Of Princess Yashodara: Wife And Disciple Of The Lord Buddha - Sunity Devee

A very strange version of a familiar tale. Several of the facts given do not match with other books that I have read and the book is very short in page numbers despite having giant sized pages. However, the ending chapter is very informative, as I have been interested in the former lives of the Buddha & co. and my only other way of following these is currently on computer donwloads, and I much prefer an actual book.

The book is full of detailed or imaginative descriptions, which though seemingly fanciful would provide a clearer picture of what may have been, had their accuracy not been in question. Overall, the bok is well worth reading, but more for the sake of interest than serious learning.

Middle Way

If you have spent your time escaping from the depths of hell and suddenly finding you are floating in heavenly realms, maybe you can comprehend….

One moment I was sleeping poorly, 3-4 naps of 2 hrs per night, troubled, struggling to stay sane in a crazy world, attacked spiritually, proving my truth was true… the next I was approached, requested, wanted, and accepted… floating high - um, too high! Unable to focus midst flight of peace and relaxation….

Finding the middle way relates to many areas of life. Between heaven and hell, the middle is humanity… only the human race seems to have tipped slightly too far hellward currently…and be somewhat off balance.

Mid way between the heavenly and hell realms - yes, humanity must have some purpose, though what it is, I cannot currently say to be evident.