Lifestyle changes concerning Buddhism 6

The final issue I would like to discuss in relation to the initial question, which I began to deal with back in post 1, is my attitude towards insects. During the past, I was what I currently consider to be very cruel and merciless, mostly due to fear and partially due to expectation.

Humans, especially females, are generally accepted as being opposed to insects invading their homes and life. From spiders, cockroaches, and ants, through to mice, bees and unidentifiable pests, the current trend is for modern Western society members to use a can of spray or trap and eradicate these 'nuisances'.

Within my childhood, I can recall both scientific play with ants and fear of spiders. I would torment ants in the name of interest and experiment, surrounding them with a circle of water or covering them with water, just to see their reaction, for example. These 'pets' bit me, so I felt it only fair to punish them!

Spiders caused me many nightmares. The only time I was ever known to sleepwalk, I recall my mother finding me standing a few feet from my bed screaming and crying, standing on my bedside rug. A second time I remember waking in similar fear from the recurrent dream of spiders gradually filling my room until there were hundreds, even thousands of them - and no room for me! The second time, I managed to simply wake up, shed a few silent tears, and climb back into bed, without disturbing my parents who slept in the room next to me. This dream occurred many times, but never again had me out of bed or in fearful tears.

In my twenties and thirties, the 'interim' of my life as I sometimes refer to it, I leapt in fear as mice scurried across the floor, ran for the spray can of insect killer if I spotted a big black roach scuttling about, and murdered every bug that trespassed upon 'my' property. It was not until recent times that I learned to deal with MY faulty behavior, giving the insects and mice a life of peace.

I will continue this discussion my next post.