Compassion - do I have enough? 1

Recently, due to personal considerations, studying course 4 of the ACI Buddhism courses, and reading the books that I have read, I have been considering whether or not I have enough compassion.

Being a student of Buddhism and living in the Western world, I have a multitude of online and literature based possibilities for study, but no 'specific' local cultural lineage. Whilst this provides me with multiple opportunities to 'pick and choose' which branches of Buddhism I wish to pursue, it limits me in regard to having a firm basis for continued study. I relate well to BOTH Tibetan and Thai Buddhist teachings - from two very different paths. Whilst being blessed with the ability to learn from both, I realize that if I take too much input from the Thai Dhutanga studies, my Tibetan Vajrayana followings will not progress as they should. For the latter, I need to develop my compassion. This is a major key.

I have no difficulty with wishing to develop my compassion, and looking at myself now as opposed to three or four years ago, I can see that I have advanced considerably. I am currently able to view certain situations in completely new ways, for example. However, I still feel that I need to work on this.

Doing SOMETHING 2

On a bad day, when my good intentions lead to failure, there are always a few good things that I must have done. I may climb out of bed intending to fill my day with positive activities, smile at everyone I meet, work hard and get a lot done, and not grumble or frown all day - but as I climb back into my bed at the close of the day, it is not often that I have achieved my goal.

This could be somewhat alarming at times, if you think through all the missed opportunities, mistakes, and things you could and should have done, but did not. It can be especially downheartening if you have been pondering your karma, and realized just how much bad karma you make each day through being lazy, careless, or thoughtless. Yet, each day I can find a few things that I have done on the positive side.

Maybe I failed to smile at the checkout assistant in the grocery store, got irritated by the loud noises from next door whilst trying to read, and cooked a mess instead of a meal - but I rescued a spider before my son showered, did not tread on the snail on the path, and gave food to a few dozen pigeons. Every day you can do SOMETHING good, even on those bad days. The spider and snail, and all those pigeons are just as alive and struggling as me. I may have ruined my own life that day, but I helped theirs. This helps keep me enthusiastic and positive.

Doing SOMETHING 1

I recently read the book 'After the Ecstasy, the Laundry' by Jack Kornfield - again. Whilst it is not my favorite Buddhist book, I do enjoy some of the stories within it. One of my favorites is on page 273. It is a single paragraph with a valid point. The story talks of a man who saves dying starfish, one by one, flinging them back into the ocean from the sands of a beach. Whilst there are so many starfish and it might otherwise seem pointless, he explains the fact that each saved starfish does not regard his action as pointless.

This is similar to my own findings when I first began to take steps to become a vegetarian. After forty years of eating what I thought was tasty or healthy, I had to overcome my taste-cravings, and take 3-4 steps to arrive. But I made it, so that nowadays I do not buy, cook, or consume meat, fish or eggs - unless I am given some, as a gift. The first step was to say no more sausages, pepperoni, steaks, or lamb roasts. This was not too difficult, and I had myself down to eating seafood an chicken only, in a single step. I made the decisions and then took it up. The next step was that I would only eat a PIECE of chicken or fish, and not a whole being or lots of beings. This is where I began to get into difficulty and had to contemplate rather than just decide.

A plate of shrimp for example, is numerous lives lost for just one meal in my belly. Shrimp tastes good, is easy to use in many meals, and is healthy. So I had to go over the fact that I was saving multiple lives by not eating it. By eating one piece of a tuna fish and passing on the shrimp, I was saving hundreds of lives each year. Now, I am at the stage where I do not take a piece of a life for my own feasting, but this was a stage I had t pass through on my way.

So each day I encounter when I think that I have done nothing good, positive, or right, I can still regard as a good day in one small way - I did not eat a plateful of lives! Those shrimps that I did not eat can go on living happily in the ocean, even if it is only one plateful from amongst millions…

The Buddha's Birthday in Wollongong

Different Buddhist groups celebrate this event on different dates. Living in the Western world, one can either follow a set lineage and share their preferred option, or select a date suited to ones lifestyle on which to celebrate. Celebrations here vary between Buddhist lineages, allowing one to participate in various activities. The majority of Buddhists in the Western world appear to celebrate on the full moon day of May, but others will select alternate dates.

Personally, I choose to spend some time in reflection on the full moon day of May and to also partial-fast the day before and fully-feast on the day itself - in recognition of the gain of the event and previous lackage. However, as I do not have a specific local temple with which to celebrate, if I can find any local activities concerning the event of the Buddha's birthday, I will also attend these. This year, the event was celebrated in the local mall on May 23 by the Nan Tien Temple, so I was able to walk down the street and support the event. I might not have discovered the event at all, had I not taken an excursion the previous day, and, on my return, discovered decorations being hung up in the mall, a trio of nuns standing about, and a giant Buddha figure on the stage. Sometimes the event is only held in Sydney, making it expensive and difficult for me to attend. When it is held locally, I like to support fellow Buddhists of the local community, even if I do not follow their precise lineage.

I was pleased to find a stall selling Buddhist literature among the many that occupied the mall. Two years ago, when the event was celebrated in the park across the street from our home, I had not had enough money to buy a book, but this year, I had some money left over from my birthday gifts and was able to select one. Whilst I do not directly follow the teachings of the Buddhist group that hosted the event, I do like to read literature and teachings from as wide a range of Buddhist sources as possible.

I arrived in time to catch the initial Lion Dance, and follow the Bathing the Buddha ceremony, along with the multicultural prayers, Abbess's speech, and a vocal performance. Having friends and family from multiple faiths, this multicultural aspect is important to me. I then hopped back home to feed my pigeons, before returning to munch a snack (I had already eaten my daily meal before attending) and observe the second Lion Dance performance.

I stayed to view the multi-cultural performances, which included a local classical school band, Indian dancing, a keyboardist who played ambient melodies, and the temple choir. Whilst there remained a couple more activities after a short break, I do not keep conventional hours, and having been awake since 1am, decided to return home to read before my bedtime.

Equanimity and equality 2

Each day, I should say to myself: "every becoming that I encounter I should treat as my EQUAL." No favor/disfavor, no like/dislike. (I should also check to see that I actually do so.)

Sometimes, a day at home produces more problems with this than a day out in the city encountering numerous becomings. Birds, bugs, bird-hating neighbors, passers by, and grumpy sons coming at me at inconvenient times are just as difficult as a crowd of strangers that I can walk right past.

It may seem strange, at first, to consider everything alive as equal - because nothing LOOKS like anything else. THOUGHT and SPEECH are also entirely different between a hungry dove, nest-building ant, courting pigeon, and money-demanding human, for example. But if you consider our RIGHTS, INNER CORE, and POTENTIAL, instead of the body, lifestyle and mind, it becomes easier.

Equanimity and equality 1

One of the methods for practicing equanimity, in relation to regarding all beings equally with the same state of mind, is progression. Firstly, you concentrate on loving those you love - family members, close friends, a pet, etc. next, you spread this outward and begin to work on keeping the same level of compassion and kindness in you for a wider circle - perhaps including the aunts, uncles and cousins along with parents and siblings, or birds in the yard as well as your pets, for example. Eventually, you can expand to cover all living beings with the same attitude level.

One expansion tool that I have found useful, is to think about where we go after death. This has helped me to include many bugs that formerly I would have screamed and sprayed, rather than accepted and cared about. Having lost my grandparents in my youth, and a mother, aunt, several friends, and many pets since, I can work with this personally. Where have they all gone?

I do believe in rebirth, that they have gone somewhere in a new form or body. Believing this, how can I be sure that the cockroach scuttling across the windowsill in the middle of the night is not my mother or aunt? How can I be sure that the fly that pesters me as I try to study is not the 'now' of one of my pets that have passed on? I cannot prove that the spider webbing above my pillow is not the rebirth of my mother or my aunt…

This helps me to accept the bugs that crawl into my home and life, rather than destroy them and consider them as 'nasty little creepy crawlies'. Once you can accept, you can observe, learn, and love.

Right livelihood 2

Obviously, some decision had to be made and some steps taken to improve the situation. Could I return to the pleasant days of writing books, blogs, and articles, but manage to make enough income from them somehow - or did I have to find a new source of income, to replace the commercial company work?

If I had successful marketing skills, I would have already sold thousands of copies of the books I have already written. I have a website, newsletter, bulletin boards at community websites, a local library - but people simply do not buy enough of my books to allow me to eat, let alone live in a house and have enough electricity for a computer.

Likewise, my blogs and articles earn me weekly cents rather than the necessary rent-paying dollars. I enjoy writing blogs, but this does not make me rich; it just buys me a cup of coffee once or twice a month. It is possible that I could do something with my article writing, however, and that is the step I have decided to work with.

Whilst easing my way out of writing 'rubbish' for commercial companies, I am planning to market my article writing services. I cannot say 'no more' and rely entirely on my new plans, but I can say 'less' until such time as I can do so. Rather than just writing for online websites and earning an ongoing few dollars each week, I am going to start writing articles targeted to magazines. Additionally, I shall contact local businesses that I approve of, to offer copywriting services. In this way, the content and topics I write about will be in my own hands, once more and I shall be back on track with the 'right livelihood' aspect of my practice.

Right livelihood 1

I have recently been considering certain changes that I need to make in my writing career. I enjoy writing, of that there is no doubt. I would still write, even if I did not do it to earn money. I always have written, since I first learned how. But, the content I write is not always considerable as 'right' livelihood.

At first, I wrote books. These were my own creations and I could write them in any style or format that I chose. Then I wrote articles. These too were under my own control at first. I would write on topics that I knew about, or ones that interested me after researching them. Then I began to write a few blogs. Once more, the content was under my control and dealt with subjects I held an interest in. However, none of this made enough money to pay the bills, let alone my rent.

In order to earn money, I had to write articles, reviews, and text for writing companies that guaranteed a payment for doing such. This is when my writing work turned sour. I was able to write the material required, but it was no longer my decision what was being written. Some of the topics I had to produce work on were definitely failing to make the 'right livelihood' grade. I began to feel bad about my writing career.

EMPTINESS

I have found there to be different levels of emptiness, that various Buddhist texts speak of. Unless you have personally explored, contemplated and experienced results, it is difficult to say which of these views of emptiness are correct and which are similar or partial.

It is also considered a topic that should not be discussed in certain places with certain people, whether or not one has had some or much actual realization of it. Also, some groups believe it wrong to talk of your level of understanding/experience outside of the teacher-student relationship. Therefore, for the sake of contemplation/meditation purposes, I will address only the levels that I have read about in text - without expressing my personal findings, opinions, or experience.

The first level is that of worldly life being empty of purpose and value. This is more in tune with renunciation than emptiness, in that it leads one to discover the lack of reason in everyday lifestyle and necessitates the searching for something 'more', or in this case, something that is not empty.

The second level of emptiness refers to the emptiness of +oneself. It is when one discovers that there is no 'self', no 'I'. Some people are led to the wrong view that this negates ones existence entirely, whilst others may gather entry into deeper levels of understanding when disrobed from the veil of ego. It can be either painful or exhilarating to experience this type of emptiness.

The third level of emptiness deals with the mental functions. It is very similar to the second level, in that it is a challenging of the values of 'self' that brings it about. It stems more from an investigation of the internal mental functions than from the search for a personal self, however. One looks at the levels of function within the 'mind' and discovers that some are naturally arisen and some are created by 'mind-tools' such as emotions and uncontrolled thought. To locate this type of emptiness, you have to distinguish between the creations of your mind tools and that which naturally arises, recognizing the former as empty of reality and continuity, and the latter as uncreated and enduring.

KILLING

Birds are innocent - they do not know that it is wrong to kill, so those that do so are natural yet ignorant. They simply need to eat, and some of their species eat meat.

Humans should behave better, as we are aware that killing is wrong and have the choice of whether we eat meat or become vegetation. Some animals eat plants and some do not. It is the same with us humans - we are acting more akin to our animal friends than to the divine that does not eat killed food.

Whilst animals and birds kill in ignorant need, humans kill either in ignorance or for pleasure. Surely, we should learn that we have the choice, and so should take the right option? Most of us agree that killing is wrong - some of us even try to refrain from killing - but as a whole, are we any better than those ignorant animals that kill to feast without thought, at the current time?

My own path to vegetarianism took a long time to commence, and around a year to complete. For over forty years, I ate meat. It was what humans ate and considered a regular part of the diet. I originally thought vegetarians were silly to cut out a food supply that offered variety.

Then I watched a dove walk gently across the lawn. I saw his light toes bend the grass below so softly. And I could never again buy and eat an egg. This led me to stop eating meat, then little fishes, then all that was killed to provide food for humans. As Buddhism and nature taught me to break free of ignorance and center my attitude on compassion, I learned not to kill inwardly. If I had just outwardly not wanted to, it would not have lasted.

VOWS

Whether or not a Buddhist decides to take vows is up to the individual. The majority of everyday laymen take 5 simple vows, but this is not a necessity. One can choose simply to follow the eightfold path, which covers the main importances of living life correctly as a Buddhist. On a retreat or when becoming a committed practitioner in the form of a monk, nun, or Boddhisattva, one encounters another bunch of expected vows.

I have not 'formerly' taken any vows during this current lifetime, although I have made several major and numerous minor changes in my lifestyle and attitude, and one extremely large decision and commitment, since deciding to follow Buddhism. I am aware that in some of my former lives I have followed a Buddhist path, and have at such times made commitments of some description. I am interested in discovering what exactly I have previously been committed to, so have been reading the various vows for the various Buddhist commitments.

I was recently reading through the collection of vows that one should keep if one is to become a Bodhisattva. There are 147 of these, which seems to be rather a lot to manage to keep in a single life. I have also recently read 'The Book' by Geshe Michael Roach, which lists these and some of the other vows, and also offers a time consuming way of covering them all. Whilst respecting that beyond laymanship lies additional commitments, I would personally see more sense in following the eightfold path on a continual basis, with daily and weekly time spent in reflection on and attention to any further commitments. (This would save a lot of paper from the idea of writing things down, several times a day!)

Bodies

Once again entering the territory of topics and teachings that should not be discussed in their completeness within a general audience, I have recently been investigating such territory. This time, I have been exploring the generating of dream bodies, in relation to their assistance to living as a Buddhist practitioner.

Whereas many who practice Buddhism in the Western world may be satisfied to simply attempt to follow the eightfold path to the best of their ability, I have always been led toward the deeper teachings, hidden ground, and borderline areas. For some reason, I seem to find these places easier to understand than the everyday level teachings. I assume that I have made progress within these areas in former lives.

The purpose of my recent investigations is that I have a problem with helping humanity. I find it much easier to assist birds and bugs, but there seems to be a blockage when it comes to helping my fellow humans. As the state of the planet reveals, it is the human population that appears to need the most assistance. I simply felt helpless and unable to do anything on the regular level, and so I have been investigating other levels of Buddhism.

I shall not go into full detail, but will say that I am finding new ways in which to regain my hope for the future of THIS world, after observing the planet and wondering if anyone will ever fix it 'in time' - and if it is 'too late' to bother trying to help out.

EXPLORING KARMA 2

I have been reading a lot of text about dreams and dreaming lately. These stem from Buddhist, Hindu and Western knowledge on the subject. Naturally, I have also been contemplating dreams and dreaming from my own viewpoint.

I understand how prophetic dreams can occur. A Buddha can see the totality of karmic workings in all beings, not only some of his own, but 'we' cannot totally see even our own, even if we can see sometime see glimpses of karmic workings.

However, inside our 'deepest places' lies our very own book of karma - being written and reviewed every few moments of our life - as we do a deed, say a word, think a thought - and we can partially read these karmic workings in relation to our own lives through our dreaming.

It is as if we can read tiny portions of what we have done to ourselves - or will do to ourselves - karmically. A way to learn in advance and maybe not do what we should not do, or to see why something that lays ahead will happen to us - not just that it will.

(I have written a complete article on this subject, for anybody who is interested, you can view the article at: https://www.triond.com/users/madeliaette )